The best Quotes by David Nail

I love barbecue, it's my favorite thing to eat.

Ethel: "One day the entire family will be reunited in the Garden of Eden."
"Oh, like heaven?"
Ethel: "No, it's in Missouri."
"Oh. Eden's got a lot of methheads."

Did you know only one US president has been born in Missouri?
It's true, man.

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Missouri - and that's pretty much the same thing.

You know the thing about good food? It brings folks together from all walks of life.

Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.

I’m not crazy about reality, but it’s still the only place to get a decent meal.

Mr Willy Wonka can make marshmallows that taste of violets, and rich caramels that change colour every ten seconds as you suck them, and little feathery sweets that melt away deliciously the moment you put them between your lips. He can make chewing-gum that never loses its taste, and sugar balloons that you can blow up to enormous sizes before you pop them with a pin and gobble them up. And, by a most secret method, he can make lovely blue birds' eggs with black spots on them, and when you put one of these in your mouth, it gradually gets smaller and smaller until suddenly there is nothing left except a tiny little darkred sugary baby bird sitting on the tip of your tongue.

This is America. Anyone can eat what they want, as long as they eat too much.

Michael: "Can we have him for supper?"
Sylvia: "Have him to stay for supper, Michael. We aren't cannibals."

Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.

Why you care about small things? World very simple place. World only have two things: Things you can eat and things you no can eat.

What do you mean, "he don't eat no meat"? That's okay. I'll make lamb.

I'd love to be a wasp. First, I'm gonna ruin someone's BBQ and then I'll drown myself in their beer.

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Barbecue may not be the road to world peace, but it's a start.

There are two different things: there's grilling, and there's barbecue. Grilling is when people say, 'We're going to turn up the heat, make it really hot and sear a steak, sear a burger, cook a chicken.' Barbecue is going low and slow.

Roast beef, medium, is not only a food. It is a philosophy.

Comfort is key for a barbecue.

One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other one is me.

What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?
The Wok.

I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror.