The best Quotes by David Letterman

The best Quotes by David Letterman

David Michael Letterman (born April 12, 1947) is an American television host, comedian, writer and producer.

So the guy who shot Gadhafi was wearing a Yankees cap. Did you see that? If he'd had a Boston Red Sox hat on he probably would have missed.

New York Yankees Boston Red Sox

In honor of Cinco de Mayo, mayor Bill de Blasio is filling all New York City potholes with guacamole.

Cinco de Mayo Bill de Blasio

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

1

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.

If it wasn't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsover.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.

1

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.

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What does a man from Indiana say in bed?
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I did plays in high school, but I was convinced you couldn't make a living doing it. You don't have a lot of options in Indiana anyway, though, so I didn't want to stay there. I graduated early and worked a bunch of really odd jobs, and then I joined the Marines.

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After I sang 'Back Home In Indiana' the first time, I became a Hoosier.

Black bandana, sweet Louisiana
Robbin' on a bank in the state of Indiana
She's a runner, rebel and a stunner
On her merry way sayin', 'Baby, what you gonna- ?'
Lookin' down the barrel of a hot metal .45
Just another way to survive

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Dani California, Album: Stadium Arcadium

1

Louisiana Indiana

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Indiana - and that's pretty much the same thing.

We are New Yorkers. Proud citizens of the greatest city on earth. Thinking big isn't new to us. It is the very foundation of who we are.

Bill de Blasio

I have an activist's desire to improve people's lives.

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At a certain point, particularly in his third term, Mayor Bloomberg lost touch with the people he was serving.

Bill de Blasio

Michael Bloomberg

My wife and family, to say the least, are the center of my life; they are my grounding. I don't want to sound schmaltzy, but they are my inspiration and you name it.

Bill de Blasio

Everyone I knew was a Red Sox fan. Living up there in 1967 - the Impossible Dream season - that moment was incredibly compelling. I just naturally gravitated to the team. Nineteen seventy-five was arguably the greatest World Series of all time.

Bill de Blasio

I have my loyalty to the team of my youth. Everyone I knew was a Red Sox fan. The team that I grew up with was constantly the underdog but managed to prevail.

Bill de Blasio

Ladies and gentlemen, this is a difficult moment for America. I, unfortunately, will be going back to Washington after my remarks. Today we've had a national tragedy. Two airplanes have crashed into the World Trade Center in an apparent terrorist attack on our country.

George W. Bush - September 2001

2001 September 11th

The result is an absence of checks and balances in Russia. The decision of one man to launch a wholly unjustified and brutal invasion of Iraq...- I mean of Ukraine.

George W. Bush - May 2022

I have a different vision of leadership. A leader is someone who brings people together.

George W. Bush

Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve.

George W. Bush

This was not an act of terrorism, but it was an act of war.

George W. Bush

2001 September 11th

America is the land of the second chance - and when the gates of the prison open, the path ahead should lead to a better life.

George W. Bush

No wonder the city never sleeps, it's too busy trying to get laid.

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 1 Episode 11

5

Sex New York City

There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders.

Grüner Kobold in Spider-Man

2

Fame New York City

If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you
New York, New York

Frank Sinatra - New York, New York

2

Manhattan, for millions of our forefathers, the gateway to hope, opportunity and happiness beyond their wildest dreams. Today, that hope is still alive, it's called "The First Date". On Saturday nights, every restaurant in Lower Manhattan resembles its own little Ellis Island.

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 2 Episode 3

2

New York City Manhatten

In the building I live in on Park Avenue there are ten people who could buy the Yankees, but none of them could hit the ball out of Yankee Stadium.

Reggie Jackson

New York Yankees

I’m a lucky guy and I’m happy to be with the Yankees.

New York Yankees

In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.

Craig Kilborn

Don't burrito your head in the sand.

If you don't like tacos, I'm definitely nacho type!

Oh, great warrior? Wars not make one great.

Master Yoda in Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

12

I don't want to be in a battle, but waiting on the edge of one I can't escape is even worse.

Pippin Took in The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

10

Mankind invented the atomic bomb, but no mouse would ever construct a mousetrap.

Albert Einstein

18

Humanity Weapons Nuclear Weapons

I do not know how the Third World War will be fought, but I can tell you what they will use in the Fourth - rocks!

Albert Einstein

9

Weapons World War III Nuclear Weapons

If there's not enough coffee for everyone, there's coffee for no one.

Che Guevara

2

Communism Coffee

To caffeine and sugar, my companions through many a long night of writing.

Robin Hobb in Ship of Magic

1

Book Dedications & Preambles Coffee

That's L.A. They worship everything and they value nothing.

Sebastian Wilder in La La Land

1

Welcome to a city where people trying to disappear aren't actually trying.

Joe Goldberg in You - Season 2 Episode 2

1

Related pages to David Letterman

New York City

Bill de Blasio

George W. Bush

The best Quotes about the New York Yankees

New York Yankees

Boston Red Sox

Cinco de Mayo

Quotes about War

War