People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.
New York CityDavid LettermanNext in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.
War, WeaponsDavid LettermanPresident Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?
David LettermanThe White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.
David LettermanThere is no off position on the genius switch.
David LettermanI cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
David LettermanUSA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
David LettermanFall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
Los AngelesDavid Letterman