The best Quotes by David Ferguson

Adele: "Have a good day. I love you!"
David: "I know."

Hate's a very powerful word.

The world's my ostrich. Probably be a spa day, you know? Mani, pedi, facial, then a big night out somewhere flash. Paint the town.

Table full of psychiatrists, I like to keep my wits about me.

David: "You are?"
Louise: "What are the odds? Oh, I actually saw you yesterday when you came in, then I hid."
David: "You hid?"
Louise: "In the toilet."

Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"

What can I say, once you go white, you always stay tight. Hey, I think I just insulted myself.

Frank: "What did they get you for again?"
"Beat my ex-wife to death with a telephone."
Frank': "Cordless or landline?"

Been sleeping in this car six years. Pissed, puked, jizzed in it. By law of bodily fluids, it's mine.

I have red hair, freckles and crooked teeth. I don't need any more character!

Debs, we need at least one person in this family to not turn cynical, and my money's been on you.

I don't go onto Facebook because I don't give a shit about whose pet just died or who just checked in at the f*cking McDonald's.