The best Quotes by Dave Barry

The best Quotes by Dave Barry

David McAlister Barry (born July 3, 1947) is an American author and columnist who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005.

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of 47-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Children & Childhood Birthday Craziness & Weirdness Kindische Sprüche

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance!

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.

Skiing Snowboarding

Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep.

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Tel Aviv is new, built on the sand dunes north of Jaffa in the 1890s, about the same time Miami was founded. The cities bear a resemblance in size, site, climate, and architecture.

P. J. O'Rourke

They say money can't buy happiness. But it can book your flight to Miami - which is kinda the same.

You can leave Miami, but it will never leave you.

Miami is bringing in more guns, drugs and hot cars than any other city on the East Coast.

Phil Rask in StartUp - Season 1 Episode 3

I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet.

Shaquille O'Neal

Miami is a melting pot in which none of the stones melt. They rattle around.

What's so beautiful about Miami is that we support each other. We're just one big family, not just the entertainers, just everyone in general.

But this is Miami, you can't come to Miami and not show any skin. You gotta show something. If you're all covered up in this heat, you're gonna make me pass out out just to look at you. It's sweaty in Miami-but the diamonds will keep me cool.

Sometimes, you might meet somebody that you love that's turning into a 'they.' My key is invite them to Miami and take them to the ocean and let them jump off the boat in the ocean, on the sand bar, and cleanse off and pray and then go take a shower, and hopefully the 'they' is out of you.

My favourite city is Miami. It's very fresh and the beach is sunny.

Miami is nothing like me, and that's why I need to be here.

Miami has embraced me and I love them for that.

It can take a lifetime to discover snowboarding, but only an instant to fall in love with it.

The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that's the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.

Never mess with a snowboarder - we know places where no one will ever find you!

Even carrying a snowboard is cooler than skiing.

Get your f*cking rental skis off my board!

The attraction of snowboarding is the freedom it gives you. With a snowboard on your feet the sky is the limit. You can do anything and go anywhere. This is not just for pro riders, it's for everyone.

Jeremy Jones

A child's voice, however honest and true, is meaningless to those who've forgotten how to listen.

Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

39

Children & Childhood Hearing & Listening

If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.

Albert Einstein

20

Children & Childhood Fairytales

All grown-ups were once children... but only few of them remember it.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry in The Little Prince

16

Children & Childhood Birthday Age

Keep true to the dreams of thy youth.

Friedrich Schiller in Don Carlos

8

Youth Men Birthday Age

The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.

Jean Paul Getty

7

Life Birthday Age Sand

Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.

Coco Chanel

7

Beauty Birthday Age

There are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.

Graham Chapman

1

Reason & Sanity Craziness & Weirdness

I'm not crazy - my reality is just different from yours.

Lewis Carroll in Alice In Wonderland

41

Craziness & Weirdness

There is a place like no place on Earth. A land full of wonder, mystery, and danger. Some say to survive it, you need to be as mad as a hatter.

Alice In Wonderland

34

Craziness & Weirdness

Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.

Fun Kindische Sprüche

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

16

Life Optimism Dancing Rain Positive Quotes

One move can set a whole generation free... one move can make you believe like you're something more.

Moose in Step Up - 3D

9

Whoever said happines comes with sunshine, has never danced in the rain!

6

Happiness Dancing Sun Rain

When God understand that only the best go skiing, he created football for the rest.

1

When I'm in the starting gate, it's just me and the hill.

Mikaela Shiffrin

1

It can take a lifetime to discover skiing, but only an instant to fall in love with it.

They say God invented whiskey to stop the Irish from rulin' the world.

Irish in Red Dead Redemption

2

Ireland Whiskey St. Patrick's Day

Here's to good Irish friends - never above you, never below you, always beside you!

Ireland Toasts St. Patrick's Day

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family.

Victoria Smurfit

A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.

Vernon Howard

2

Popularity Lions Sheep

A lion doesn't concern himself with the opinions of the sheep.

Tywin Lannister in Game of Thrones - Season 1 Episode 7

2

Opinions Gossip & Rumors Lions Sheep

Leave one wolf alive, and the sheep are never safe.

Arya Stark in Game of Thrones - Season 7 Episode 1

1

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

But I don't understand why the Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It's pretty boring stuff, it's sordid but it's boring and I don't understand why it keeps going.

Donald Trump - July 2025

The Epstein Files

Related pages to Dave Barry

Snowboarding

Children & Childhood

The best Quotes about being Crazy

Craziness & Weirdness

Kindische Sprüche