The best Quotes by Dave Attell

The best Quotes by Dave Attell

David Attell (born January 18, 1965) is an American stand-up comedian, actor and writer best known as the host of Comedy Central's Insomniac with Dave Attell, which earned him a cult following. His work has drawn admiration from many comedians.

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.

I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.

Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

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We're like the penguins. We can't fly, but maybe we can learn to swim.

Georgia Miller in Ginny & Georgia - Season 1 Episode 9

1

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

But I don't understand why the Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It's pretty boring stuff, it's sordid but it's boring and I don't understand why it keeps going.

Donald Trump - July 2025

The Epstein Files

There are two kinds of big companies in the United States. There are those who've been hacked by the Chinese, and those who don't know they've been hacked by the Chinese.

James Comey

I believe that Americans should be deeply skeptical of government power. You cannot trust people in power. The founders knew that. That's why they divided power among three branches, to set interest against interest.

James Comey

I will do everything if confirmed as FBI director to make sure the American public knows the full weight of what happened.

Kash Patel - Januar 2025

The Epstein Files

Technology has forever changed the world we live in. We're online, in one way or another, all day long. Our phones and computers have become reflections of our personalities, our interests, and our identities. They hold much that is important to us.

James Comey

There are well over 250 victims, so we have to make sure that their identity is protected. Other than that, I think tomorrow you're gonna see some Epstein information being released by my office. What you're gonna see is a lot of flight-logs, a lot of names, a lot of information.

Pam Bondi - February 2025

The Epstein Files

The people of the FBI are sworn to protect both security and liberty. It isn't a question of conflict. We must care deeply about protecting liberty through due process of law, while also safeguarding the citizens we serve - in every investigation.

James Comey

It's sitting on my desk right now to review. The Trump administration is committed to truth and transparency.

Pam Bondi - February 2025

The Epstein Files

It's a very delicate subject but we should put everything out there and let the people decide it.

Mike Johnson - July 2025

The Epstein Files

All I'm going to say is I put my hand on a Bible, and I raised my right hand and swore to uphold the Constitution of the state of Florida.

Historically, there has been a clear and essential connection between marriage and responsible procreation and child rearing.

Will I support our president, whoever that might be? Absolutely. Did I vote for Donald Trump? Absolutely.

Anyone who attacks our LGBT community, anyone who attacks anyone in our state, will be gone after with the full extent of the law.

All I want to do is be the best attorney general that I can be.

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