Quote by Dan Castellaneta

Quote by Dan Castellaneta

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge star and to be recognized... It did happen, but not in the way you expect it to... In L.A., I'm just another character actor.

Dan Castellaneta

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I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what it is as long as I'm acting.

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I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think that Homer is all that I do.

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To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!

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If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.

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This is America. Anyone can eat what they want, as long as they eat too much.

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I am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T!

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No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.

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All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.

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This room is like a museum of old, useless crap... by which I mean every museum.

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Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.

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Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.

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Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

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Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achille's heel, if you will.

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My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a p-rn star!

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Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'.

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If you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half a-sed. That's the American way.

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Where's the "any key"? Hm... I think I order a "tab".

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Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

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America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well… all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

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Ooh, the Patriot Act is so terrible! The government might find out what library books I take out! What's next, finding out what operas I go to?

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Homer: "Do you want the job done right or do you want it done fast?"
Marge: "Well, like all Americans… fast!"

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Good things don't end with "eum", they end with "mania" or "teria".

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You know what they say about Chicago. If you don't like the weather, wait fifteen minutes.

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Why are there so many Latina's in Illinois?
Because that's where the Chica go.

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Take me away, like I overdosed on cocaine
Or take me away like a bullet from Kurt Cobain, suicide
I'm from a windy city like Do or Die

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You can leave Chicago, but it will never leave you.

Village idiot? Hello, Chicago is a city, not a village, and the best city in the world!

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They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Illinois - and that's pretty much the same thing.

We home school 'em. I teach the big ones, and the big ones teach the little ones, but nobody taught me, so the whole thing is an exercise in futility.

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Related pages

Dan Castellaneta

Homer Simpson

The Simpsons

Cletus Spuckler

Marge Simpson

Abraham Simpson

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