Quotes by Craig Ferguson

The best Quotes and Sayings

Canada is not the party. Its the apartment above the party.

CanadaCraig Ferguson
 
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I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

American Football, ThanksgivingCraig Ferguson
 
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Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

Barbecue, Meat, CowsCraig Ferguson
 
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If I have a near-beer, I'm near beer. And if I'm near beer, I'm close to tequila. And if I'm close to tequila, I'm adjacent to cocaine.

Beer, Tequila, CocaineCraig Ferguson
 
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Everything I think of now is too rude to actually say.

Craig Ferguson
 
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Other than the laws of physics, rules have never really worked out for me.

RulesCraig Ferguson
 
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I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

ParentsCraig Ferguson
 
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Maybe fear is God's way of saying, "Pay attention, this could be fun!"

Fear, Positive QuotesCraig Ferguson
 
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If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them. I want to be one of me.

Craig Ferguson
 
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If a man doesn't know how to dance he doesn't know how to make love.

DancingCraig Ferguson
 
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I didn't say "no", because between safety and adventure... I choose adventure.

AdventuresCraig Ferguson
 
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I haven't had a drink in thirteen years, but occasionally I'm tempted to have one beer. The problem is that if I have that one beer, I wake up in Tijuana four days later with a tattoo and a sore ass.

TijuanaCraig Ferguson
 
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