The last person that was excited about a check with Donald Trump's name on it was Stormy Daniels.Donald TrumpOliver Welke in heute-show, Sendung vom 24.04.2020
Okay, I'm bored in the house and I’m in the house bored
Bored in the house and I'm in the house bored
Bored than a motherfucker, in the house bored
And I'm bored than a motherfucker, in the house bored
I imagined the Apocalypse with zombies and pumpguns, not with washing hands and staying at home.Unknown
Remember last week when your grocery list wasn't just 'GRAB WHATEVER IS LEFT'?Taylor Tomlinson (American Comedian), via Twitter
We are looking at the biggest economic crash since 1970.
And thanks to closed barber-shops, we'll soon look like the 70s again.
Crazy times we're living in. I used to cough to hide a fart, now I'm farting to hide a cough.Funny QuotesUnknown
The government just decided: Every houshold hoarding more than 10 rolls of toilet paper is from now on regarded as a public toilet.Unknown
Many people didn't know, that just before the end, dinosaurs met each other at asteroid parties.Unknown
Why is there a shortage of toilet paper in times of Corona?
If someone sneezes, everyone around him shits their pants.
Pop in COD on the PS4
Tell the bitch chill like refrigerator doors
We can heat up some ramen, can't go to the store
Can't even go on tour