Quotes by Conan O'Brien

Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen.

The results of a new study are out this week saying that New Jersey is one of the most livable states in the country. The study has a margin of error of 100 percent.

I hate cynicism - it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere.

There are few things more liberating in this life than having your worst fear realized.

It's now come out just before his record-breaking 100-meter dash, gold medalist Usain Bolt ate at McDonald's. Apparently he timed his meal so when the race started he would have exactly 9.63 seconds to get to a toilet.

President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards.

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, "Jesus! This cup is expensive!"

This Halloween, the most popular mask is the Arnold Schwarzenegger mask. And the best part? With a mouth full of candy you will sound just like him.