Olaf SchubertShow 1 Quotes
Felix LobrechtShow 1 Quotes
One of the main differences between Munich and Berlin is that when thousands of people get drunk in silly clothes and start vomitting, we don't call it "Oktoberfest", we call it "Tuesday".
Ricky GervaisShow 23 Quotes
A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.
Bill MurrayShow 8 Quotes
Life is so damn short. For f's sake, just do what makes you happy!
Robin WilliamsShow 8 Quotes
Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me.
Steve HarveyShow 10 Quotes
People say that money changes people. It really doesn't. Money don't change people. Money allows you to be more of who you really are. If you're a kind person when you get a lot of money, you become a kinder person. If you're an a-shole when you get a lot of money, you become a big a-shole. When you see rich people acting like a-sholes it's 'cause they've always been one.
Steve Harvey - February 2021
Kevin HartShow 6 Quotes
Life is too short to worry about what others say about you. Have fun and give them something to talk about.
Trevor NoahShow 14 Quotes
Dave ChappelleShow 12 Quotes
Where I'm from? A little town called none of yo god damn business.
Oliver WelkeShow 2 Quotes
Mike MyersShow 5 Quotes
Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it.
John OliverShow 69 Quotes
Germany... a country whose idea of a bedtime story is two children being left to die in the forest, before nearly being cooked and eaten and then murdering an old woman.
John Oliver (Last Week Tonight)2
George CarlinShow 11 Quotes
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.
Dick GregoryShow 6 Quotes
Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.
Jimmy CarrShow 15 Quotes
I'm gonna talk about racism now. And this is a straight white man talking, so pay attention!
ComediansShow 13 Sayings
Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.
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F*ck reason - long live the nonsense!
Cynicism, to me, is trying to make people as unhappy as you are.
The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Dubai accomplished that boom through lots of hard work... by slaves.
Jan Böhmermann (ZDF Magazin Royale) - vom 12.02.2021
The only time you should look back in life is to see how far you have come.
You don't need to show up like a SWAT Team to rescue a Barbie from a little girl. If anything, you should be rescuing the little girl from the Barbie. Should be getting there like, "little girl, watch out! That Barbie can give you a warped sense of what a woman's body is supposed to be!"
Regardless of our differences, this was still New York. A melting pot crammed onto an island, then pushed into a subway car with a rat eating pizza. You're not left or right. You're a New f*cking Yorker and we're in this together.
The language you are about to hear… is disturbing.
Canada is a country of ingredients without a cuisine; we're a country with musicians without an indigenous instrument; Toronto's a city that doesn't even have a dish named after it.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Australia... home of every animal that seems like it should already be extinct.
John Oliver (Last Week Tonight)1
Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't wanna f*ck in the first place?
People with high blood pressure, diabetes - those are conditions brought about by life style. If you change the life style, those conditions will leave.
Who's not gonna take the vaccine because they think it might be dangerous? Raise your hands! Now take that hand and slap yourself in the f*cking face!
Everybody wants to laugh - you know that. They need to laugh... people need to laugh.