The best Quotes by Cletus Spuckler

The best Quotes by Cletus Spuckler

Tauche ein in die urkomische Welt von Cletus Spuckler, dem liebenswerten Hinterwäldler aus Die Simpsons! Lachkrämpfe garantiert!

We home school 'em. I teach the big ones, and the big ones teach the little ones, but nobody taught me, so the whole thing is an exercise in futility.
The Simpsons - Season 18 Episode 14

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To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 8 Episode 18
11
My Homer is not a Communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a Communist, but he is NOT a p-rn star!
Abraham Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 19
4
If I didn't have this gun, the king of England could walk right in here and start pushing you around.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 5
3
This is America. Anyone can eat what they want, as long as they eat too much.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 24 Episode 5
3
I am so smart, I am so smart! S-M-R-T!
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 5 Episode 3
3
No son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 8 Episode 10
3
All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
3
This room is like a museum of old, useless crap... by which I mean every museum.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 24 Episode 4
2
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 14 Episode 2
2
Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand.
2
Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 5 Episode 18
2
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achille's heel, if you will.
1
Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene'.
1
Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
1
If you don't like your job, you don't strike: you just go in every day and do it really half a-sed. That's the American way.
1
Where's the "any key"? Hm... I think I order a "tab".
1
Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.
America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well… all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!
Ooh, the Patriot Act is so terrible! The government might find out what library books I take out! What's next, finding out what operas I go to?
Good things don't end with "eum", they end with "mania" or "teria".
When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power. Like God must feel when he's holding a gun.
Homer Simpson in The Simpsons - Season 9 Episode 5
I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: "Cover for me."
Number 2: "Oh, good idea, Boss!"
Number 3: "It was like that when I got here."
Homer: "Do you want the job done right or do you want it done fast?"
Marge: "Well, like all Americans… fast!"
Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"
Shameless - Season 3 Episode 12
What can I say, once you go white, you always stay tight. Hey, I think I just insulted myself.
Kevin Ball in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 12
Frank: "What did they get you for again?"
"Beat my ex-wife to death with a telephone."
Frank': "Cordless or landline?"
Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 12
Been sleeping in this car six years. Pissed, puked, jizzed in it. By law of bodily fluids, it's mine.
Shameless - Season 3 Episode 11

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