The best Quotes by Claire Dunphy

Phil: "What a beautiful dress."
Gloria: "Thank you, Phil."
Phil: "Oh, okay."
Claire: "Phil! She said Phil, not feel!"

Modern Family - Season 1 Episode 1

Alex: "Luke got his head stuck in the banister again."
Phil: "I got it. Where's the babyoil?"
Claire: "It's on our bedside tip- I Don't know, find it!"

Modern Family - Season 1 Episode 1

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The good news is, Luke has his bike.
More good news, I taught some random kid a valuable lesson by stealing his bike.

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family - Season 1 Episode 3

Sometimes I don't know if I love how much I fear Claire, or fear how much I love her.

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family - Season 5 Episode 1

Jay: "I got you a little gift to celebrate. I know it’s not much...-"
Gloria: "It’s practically nothing!"

Gloria Pritchett in Modern Family - Season 6 Episode 22

Gifts & Presents

Mitchell: "We didn't just go to Vietnam for pleasure. We kinda have some big news."
Jay: "Oh God, if Cam comes out there with boobs, I'm leaving."

Jay Pritchett in Modern Family - Season 1 Episode 1

Mitchell: "It's been five years now and he still does this thing were he announces himself before walking into any room we're in, just to make sure he doesn't ever see us kiss."
Cameron: "Wish my mother had that system. Remember?"

Cameron Tucker in Modern Family - Season 1 Episode 1

Phil: "Little heads up - there's no way I'm not crying at this wedding."
Claire: "Phil, you cried on the way here."
Phil: "I was on the brink already. I watched 'Dirty Dancing' before we left."

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family - Season 5 Episode 1

Dirty Dancing

Gloria: "It seemd like all what we did was fight and make love. One time, I'm not kidding you, we fell out of the window together."
Jay: "Which one were you doing?"

Jay Pritchett in Modern Family - Season 1 Episode 1

I'm a cool dad. That's my thang. I surf the web... I text LOL - Laugh Out Loud, OMG - Oh My God, WTF - Why The Face.

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family - Season 1 Episode 1

Mitchell: "we've decided we really wanted to have a baby so, we initially asked one of our lesbian friends to be a surrogate."
Cameron: "Then we figured, they already mean enough, can you imagine one of them pregnant?"

Cameron Tucker in Modern Family - Season 1 Episode 1

There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You'd think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists, but more often than not the opposite is true. You see, the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists, well without the dreamers, they might not ever get off the ground.

Cameron Tucker in Modern Family - Season 3 Episode 9

Dreaming Reality

Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration, and 2% attention to detail.

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family

Success

Sal: "Does Lily have any other plates? I don't let Sammy eat off this plastic."
Pepper: "How does she breastfeed him if she doesn't let him near plastic?"

Pepper Saltzman in Modern Family - Season 6 Episode 15

Boobs

Jotham: "I'm leaving early to go to a hockey game. Kings versus Blackhawks."
Pepper: "Wow, they can call a team that?"
Jotham: "Black-h-awks!"

Modern Family - Season 6 Episode 15

Chicago Blackhawks

Alex: "What's Jagermeister?"
Phil: "Well, you know how in a fairytale there's always a potion that makes the princess fall asleep and then the guys start kissing her? Well, this is like that, except you don't wake up in a castle, you wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation."

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family

Jägermeister

Haley: "Dad, can you just please tell mom, that I can take a two hour break and go to a party?"
Phil: "No Ma'am, I'm not stepping into that one. We're not playing 'good cop - mom'.'"

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family - Season 2 Episode 3

You can tell a lot about a person from his biography.

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family

Watch a sunrise at least once a day.

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family

Sunrise

When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like, "What?!"

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family

Zitronen

Dance, until your feet hurt. Sing, until your lungs hurt. Act, until you're William Hurt.

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family

The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you, if you just lower your expectations.

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family

Expectations

If you get pulled over for speeding, tell the policeman your spouse has diarrhea.

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family

Always look people in the eye. Even if they're blind. Just say, 'I am looking you in the eye.'

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family

Blindness

If you love something, set it free. Unless it's a tiger.

Phil Dunphy in Modern Family

Tigers

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

One downside of our big brains is we're the only creatures who are aware that death is inevitable. Although, if you lined ten dogs in a row and shot them one by one, the dog on the end would probably get the gist by about dog four.

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Life - Episode 1

Brain

Cells couldn't multiply without this, the IKEA instruction manual for life, DNA. DNA is tiny yet comlex, like Tom Cruise.

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Life - Episode 1

Tom Cruise

The best Quotes by Claire Dunphy

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