The best Quotes by Christopher Hitchens

There are all kinds of stupid people that annoy me but what annoys me most is a lazy argument.

Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are God.

Cats Dogs

I learned that very often the most intolerant and narrow-minded people are the ones who congratulate themselves on their tolerance and open-mindedness.

Foolishness

What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence.

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Dante: "[seeing a Confederate flag] What? Are you serious?"
Lila: "Newsflash, we're in deep Texas."

Texas Chainsaw Massacre - 2022

Texas

The stars at night, are big and bright,
deep in the heart of Texas,
The prairie sky is wide and high,
deep in the heart of Texas.

Texas

Of course, nobody I knew in East-Texas in 1989 cared about Newtonian Physics. The only Newtons they cared about were Wayne and Fig.

Sheldon Cooper in Young Sheldon - Season 1 Episode 1

Texas

When a Texan gets knocked off a horse, he gets right back on. That is the second most important thing about bein' a Texan, right after thinkin' you're better than everybody else.

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 4 Episode 8

Texas

"Did you grow up in Texas?"
Meemaw: "Took my first bath in a ten-gallon hat."

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 2 Episode 13

Texas

Sheldon: "Texas, Oklahoma... what's the difference?"
Meemaw: "Hey, now, I think you might want to crack open your psychology textbook 'cause that there is crazy talk."

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 2 Episode 9

Texas Oklahoma

Amy: "Lino's reinventing Thanksgiving."
Zora: "Oh, good. 'Cause if there's anything Texans love, it's different sh-t."

From Scratch - Season 1

Texas

Since you went away
I bet you missed your exit
And drove right on through the Lone Star state
There's a seat for you at the rodeo
And I've got every slow dance saved
Besides the Mexican food sucks north of here anyway

Bowling for Soup - Ohio (Come Back to Texas), Album: A Hangover You Don’t Deserve

Texas

In Texas, it's football. In Georgia, football. There's an appreciation from the average person about football more than anywhere else. And we have that for basketball in New York. And we'll always have that in New York.

Kenny Smith

Basketball American Football Texas Georgia

Lila: "So, Richter, why are you such a nihilist?"
Richter: "A what?"
Lila: "I mean, anyone who blasts diesel into the atmosphere like that, truly gives zero f-s about like anything."
Richter: "I'm a Texan. I don't like people telling me what to do. Especially smug, self-righteous, rich, city folk."

Texas Chainsaw Massacre - 2022

Texas

In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans.

Kelly Clarkson

Texas Jeans

Are you really a Texan? I mean, really? If I have a headache, I'd put bacon around an Aspirin before I take it.

RJ Scott

Texas

Football is to Texas what religion is to a priest.

Tom Landry

American Football Texas

Don't mess with Texas!

Texas

Texas has long been known as the nation's largest energy producer, but we are equally proud of our distinction as the nation's leading energy innovator.

Rick Perry

Texas

You may all go to hell, and I will go to Texas.

Davy Crockett

Texas

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians.

Henry Rollins

Texas

I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part and discuss it only with consenting adults.

Molly Ivins

Texas

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics.

Molly Ivins

Texas

When rough times have fallen upon our state in the past, Texans have always responded with generosity and an eagerness to help. The compassionate response to the fires has proven that this community spirit is alive and well.

Randy Neugebauer

Texas

I felt like the luckiest kid in the world because God had put me on the ground in Texas. I actually felt sorry for those poor little kids that had to be born in Oklahoma or England or some place. I knew I was living in the best place in the world.

Tommy Lee Jones

Texas

The people of the State of Texas consist principally of men, women, and children, with a sprinkling of cowboys. The weather is very good, thermometer rarely rising above 2,500 degrees in the shade and hardly ever below 212.

O. Henry

Texas

An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded.

Pope Johannes Paul II

Excuses

Winners don't make excuses when the other side plays the game.

Harvey Specter in Suits - Season 1 Episode 12

Winning Excuses

The only opponents who aren't coming up with excuses for being defeated by me are computers.

Bobby Fischer (World Chess Champion)

Losing & Defeat Excuses Chess

The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.

Jules Renard

Kindness Excuses

The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.

Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street

Motivation Excuses

I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through.

Jules Verne

Cats

Want an animal to stare at you with contempt? Get a cat! Open box of excrement in your house? Cat!

Lucifer Morningstar in Lucifer - Season 2 Episode 4

Cats

My cat is really annoyed by me, now that I hang around in her apartment all day.

Quarantänealltag

Cats Corona-Jokes

When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they're just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.

Percy Bysshe Shelley

Cats

Cities, like cats, will reveal themselves at night.

Rupert Brooke

Cats City & Urban

A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water logged stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?

Marley & Me

Animals Dogs

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Mark Twain

Humanity Gratitude Animals Dogs

I am NOT telling you to be aggressive! I am telling you to stay in control. Be calm and assertive!

Cesar Millan (Rudelführer, Hundetrainer)

Dogs

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Josh Billings

Animals Dogs

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

Kinky Friedman

Love Money Animals Dogs

Who's the more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him?

Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope

Foolishness

I fear the day when the technology overlaps with our humanity. The world will only have a generation of idiots.

Albert Einstein

Foolishness Technology Generations

The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.

Charles Bukowski

Foolishness Intelligence Self-Confidence Doubt

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Albert Einstein

Genius Foolishness

That's the misery: Stupid people are so confident, the wise ones full of doubt.

Helmut Schmidt

Foolishness Intelligence Doubt

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

Deadpool

But I don't understand why the Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It's pretty boring stuff, it's sordid but it's boring and I don't understand why it keeps going.

Donald Trump - July 2025

The Epstein Files

There are two kinds of big companies in the United States. There are those who've been hacked by the Chinese, and those who don't know they've been hacked by the Chinese.

James Comey

China Hackers

The best Quotes by Christopher Hitchens

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