You don't need to go to church to be a Christian. If you go to Taco Bell, that doesn't make you a taco.
It will vanish and shrink. I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right. We're more popular than Jesus now; I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.
Christianity is the best way to cure gayness - just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.
Whether or not they think he was the actual son of God who performed miracles like walking on wine or helping a deaf man see, they all agree he preached tolerance and forgiveness, a message so important his most ardent followers would eventually start killing anyone who didn't want to hear it.
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 2
What use is a god with boundless mercy, sir? You mock me as a pagan, yet the gods of my ancestors pronounce clearly their ways and punish severely when we break their laws. Your Christian god of mercy gives men licence to pursue their greed, their lust for land and blood, knowing a few prayers and a little penance will bring forgiveness and blessing.
Christians are like a thirteen year old kid who still believes in Santa.
Two american jewish men send their sons to Jerusalem to learn about their culture. A year later they are having a chat:
Man 1: "I am so disappointed in my son. Once he returned, he claimed to have become christian."
Man 2: "My son as well, this is a tragedy! We should go see our Rabbi, maybe he can guide us."
Rabbi: "Unfortunately, I'm in the same boat as you two. I sent my son to Jerusalem a few years ago and he also became christian. Only God can help us now, we should pray to him."
God: "You guys won't believe, but 2000 years ago I too sent my son to Jerusalem..."
Man 1: "I am so disappointed in my son. Once he returned, he claimed to have become christian."
Man 2: "My son as well, this is a tragedy! We should go see our Rabbi, maybe he can guide us."
Rabbi: "Unfortunately, I'm in the same boat as you two. I sent my son to Jerusalem a few years ago and he also became christian. Only God can help us now, we should pray to him."
God: "You guys won't believe, but 2000 years ago I too sent my son to Jerusalem..."
What's the difference between Jesus' crucifixion and a cow?
You cant milk a cow for 2000 years.
You cant milk a cow for 2000 years.
Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunk Christian.
I've never been insulted by hateful Satanists for not believing in their devil. Only by loving Christians for not believing in their God.
Oh, I love your religion... for the crazy! Virgin birth. Water into wine. It's like Harry Potter, but it causes genocide and bad folk music.
Roger the Alien in American Dad! - Season 5 Episode 9
Being born in a Christian home does not make you a Christian.
A socialist can be a Christian. A Christian must be a socialist.
Adolf Grimme (Politician) - 1946
Although there is a lot of Christian imagery in the books. That's undeniable. But that's an allusion to a belief system in which I was raised.
Joanne K. Rowling - about Harry Potter
You might like these Quotes aswell
Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do.
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
Unlike religious people, I look at all religions equally.
Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.
Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.
It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.
It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
Calvin in Calvin and Hobbes
The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalms - 27,1
9I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalms - 139,14
7We cannot pray and remain the same.
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.
Jeremiah - 33, 3
5Dance with me under the diamonds
See me like breath in the cold
Sleep with me here in the silence
Come kiss me, silver and gold
See me like breath in the cold
Sleep with me here in the silence
Come kiss me, silver and gold
Justin Bieber - Anyone
I was raised Catholic and I have a lot of respect for the good in the Catholic Church. But I don't go to church.
The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
Apparently, Islam can be a sensitive topic, and the producers say if I don't follow this script to the letter, there's a chance I'll cause a serious international incident.
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 2
The number of "followers" you have does not make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12.
I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end it's just too much. The current's too strong. They've got to let go, drift apart.
But then again I wonder if what we feel in our hearts today isn't like these raindrops still falling on us from the soaked leaves above, even though the sky itself long stopped raining. I'm wondering if without our memories, there's nothing for it but for our love to fade and die.
If you hate gay marriage, then don't marry a gay person.
Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny... and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real?
Kyle Broflovski in South Park - Season 11 Episode 12
5Leonard: "You owe me another two dollars, the price of moo shu pork went up."
Howard: "It's getting tougher and tougher to be a bad Jew."
Howard: "It's getting tougher and tougher to be a bad Jew."
Howard Wolowitz in The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 14
6If Jerusalem falls into the hands of the Muslims, Athens and Rome will be next.
It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.
There is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of man.
A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.