Quotes and Sayings about Christianity

It will vanish and shrink. I needn't argue with that; I'm right and I will be proved right. We're more popular than Jesus now; I don't know which will go first - rock and roll or Christianity.

John Lennon

Music

Christianity is the best way to cure gayness - just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.

Stephen Colbert

Whether or not they think he was the actual son of God who performed miracles like walking on wine or helping a deaf man see, they all agree he preached tolerance and forgiveness, a message so important his most ardent followers would eventually start killing anyone who didn't want to hear it.

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 2

Jesus

What use is a god with boundless mercy, sir? You mock me as a pagan, yet the gods of my ancestors pronounce clearly their ways and punish severely when we break their laws. Your Christian god of mercy gives men licence to pursue their greed, their lust for land and blood, knowing a few prayers and a little penance will bring forgiveness and blessing.

Kazuo Ishiguro in The Buried Giant

Christians are like a thirteen year old kid who still believes in Santa.

Jim Jefferies

Santa Claus

Two american jewish men send their sons to Jerusalem to learn about their culture. A year later they are having a chat:

Man 1: "I am so disappointed in my son. Once he returned, he claimed to have become christian."
Man 2: "My son as well, this is a tragedy! We should go see our Rabbi, maybe he can guide us."
Rabbi: "Unfortunately, I'm in the same boat as you two. I sent my son to Jerusalem a few years ago and he also became christian. Only God can help us now, we should pray to him."
God: "You guys won't believe, but 2000 years ago I too sent my son to Jerusalem..."

Judaism Jerusalem

What's the difference between Jesus' crucifixion and a cow?
You cant milk a cow for 2000 years.

Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunk Christian.

Herman Melville in Moby-Dick

I've never been insulted by hateful Satanists for not believing in their devil. Only by loving Christians for not believing in their God.

Ricky Gervais

Oh, I love your religion... for the crazy! Virgin birth. Water into wine. It's like Harry Potter, but it causes genocide and bad folk music.

Roger the Alien in American Dad! - Season 5 Episode 9

Quotes about Harry Potter

Being born in a Christian home does not make you a Christian.

E. Stanley Jones

A socialist can be a Christian. A Christian must be a socialist.

Adolf Grimme (Politician) - 1946

Although there is a lot of Christian imagery in the books. That's undeniable. But that's an allusion to a belief system in which I was raised.

Joanne K. Rowling - about Harry Potter

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Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do.

Bill Maher

Religion

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Bill Maher

Religion

Unlike religious people, I look at all religions equally.

Ricky Gervais

Religion

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

Jon Stewart

Religion

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

Jon Stewart

Religion Snakes

Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt.

Richard Feynman

Religion Science Doubt

It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.

Billy Connolly

Religion

It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

Calvin in Calvin and Hobbes

Religion

You must be the change you want to see in the world.

Mahatma Gandhi

Vision Change Famous Quotes Confirmation

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

1 John - 4, 16

God Confirmation

The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalms - 27,1

Confirmation

All his laws are before me; I have not turned away from his decrees.

2 Samuel - 22, 33

Confirmation

And know that I am with you always; yes, to the end of time.

Matthew - 28,20

Confirmation

Save me, O God, by your name; vindicate me by your might.

Psalms - 54,1

Confirmation

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalms - 139,14

Birth Confirmation

Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid.

Isaiah - 12, 2

God Confirmation

Lies are like snowballs; the longer they're rolling, the bigger they get.

Martin Luther

Lies

We cannot pray and remain the same.

Ruth Graham

Praying Day of Repentance and Prayer

Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.

Jeremiah - 33, 3

Praying Day of Repentance and Prayer

Dance with me under the diamonds
See me like breath in the cold
Sleep with me here in the silence
Come kiss me, silver and gold

Justin Bieber - Anyone

I was raised Catholic and I have a lot of respect for the good in the Catholic Church. But I don't go to church.

Dolores O'Riordan

Church

Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it'll always get you the right ones.

John Lennon

Honesty Aquarius ♒

Songs are as sad as the listener.

Jonathan Safran Foer in Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close

Music Sad Quotes

The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.

Stephen Colbert

McDonald's

One downside of our big brains is we're the only creatures who are aware that death is inevitable. Although, if you lined ten dogs in a row and shot them one by one, the dog on the end would probably get the gist by about dog four.

Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Life - Episode 1

Brain

The number of "followers" you have does not make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12.

Adolf Hitler Jesus Popularity Social Media

I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end it's just too much. The current's too strong. They've got to let go, drift apart.

Kazuo Ishiguro in Never Let Me Go

Seperation & Breakup

But then again I wonder if what we feel in our hearts today isn't like these raindrops still falling on us from the soaked leaves above, even though the sky itself long stopped raining. I'm wondering if without our memories, there's nothing for it but for our love to fade and die.

Kazuo Ishiguro in The Buried Giant

If you hate gay marriage, then don't marry a gay person.

Jim Jefferies

Homosexuality & LGBTQ+

Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives more than most real people in this room? I mean, whether Jesus is real or not, he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same could be said of Bugs Bunny... and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real?

Kyle Broflovski in South Park - Season 11 Episode 12

Luke Skywalker Superman Bugs Bunny Imagination Santa Claus

Leonard: "You owe me another two dollars, the price of moo shu pork went up."
Howard: "It's getting tougher and tougher to be a bad Jew."

Howard Wolowitz in The Big Bang Theory - Season 2 Episode 14

Judaism Pigs

If Jerusalem falls into the hands of the Muslims, Athens and Rome will be next.

Geert Wilders

Jerusalem

It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation.

Herman Melville

Character

There is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of man.

Herman Melville in Moby-Dick

Humanity Animals Conservation & Environment Protection

A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.

Ricky Gervais

Atheism Santa Claus Hölle

Quotes and Sayings about Christianity

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