The best Quotes by Chris Raab

I'm Raab Himself and I'm a complete f*cking idiot!

In England, they drive on the left side of the road.
In Pennsylvania we drive on what's left of the road.

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Pennsylvania - and that's pretty much the same thing.

Concussions aren't great, but as long as you have them before you're 50, it's cool. And Knoxville's 49, so we're good.

Hi sweetie, I'm gonna inseminate you artificially... maybe for real if you play your cards right.

I think I'm a little concussed.

You don't matter... in fact, in about 20 seconds you're not even gonna be matter.

There's no such thing as a "pretty good" gator wrestler!

They say Poland is the Mexico of Europe. I'm not sure of what that means, but I like it.

Bam Margera: "Oh, dude! My f*cking tailbone is seriously broken! I'm not even kidding!"
Ryan Dunn: "He broke his tailbone! That's alright, we don't have tails anymore, what's the point of having one?"

So, we've driven an hour north from Miami to Boca Raton, believe it or not, to film Steve-O jump into nine days worth of elephant poo.

Did you see the way I stopped the beanbag with my stomach? That's instinct. You can't teach that!

Now I know what it feels like to be my liver!

Scott Potasnik: "You guys are gonna hate me an hour from now."
Johnny Knoxville: "We hate you already."

Oh dude, you look like an egg with legs!

Since we no longer have to bleep cuss words, I promise I will get my mom to say, "f-" by the end of this movie.

Bam Margera: "Now these rocket skates are going to be a little different than the last."
Johnny Knoxville: "You using different bottle rockets?"
Bam Margera: "Nope. Just more of 'em."

Whose d do I gotta suck to get some explosions around here?

I'm sick of the whole pooping thing... I'm gonna go get my butt cheeks pierced together.

It's like when your parents said "I'm not mad at you, just disappointed." You know that hurt so much more.

I am so glad I turned this idea down!

Hi, it's cold in Japan, so we're going to warm ourselves up with some fireworks.

Hi, I'm Ryan Dunn, and I'm about to get the shit kicked out of me by a girl.

Steve-O: "We wanted to see if you would run."
Ryan Dunn: "I'm not running anywhere with a toy car shoved up my butt."

That guy right there is the best damn roller skater ever. Maybe even in the whole town.

Hi, I'm Bunny the Lifeguard, any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, I'm gonna wrestle them down, and probably have my way with them.

Johnny Knoxville: "Is this the worst you've ever had to go boom-boom?"
Dave England: "No man. I shit my pants at the fair."

I'm seriously going to die right now.

I conside skateboarding an art form, a lifestyle and a sport.