The best Quotes by Chris Pontius

Jackass - The Movie

You might like these Quotes aswell

Concussions aren't great, but as long as you have them before you're 50, it's cool. And Knoxville's 49, so we're good.

Jackass - Forever

Hi sweetie, I'm gonna inseminate you artificially... maybe for real if you play your cards right.

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass - to a cow

I think I'm a little concussed.

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass - The Movie

You don't matter... in fact, in about 20 seconds you're not even gonna be matter.

Bam Margera in Jackass

There's no such thing as a "pretty good" gator wrestler!

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass

Bam Margera: "Oh, dude! My f*cking tailbone is seriously broken! I'm not even kidding!"
Ryan Dunn: "He broke his tailbone! That's alright, we don't have tails anymore, what's the point of having one?"

Ryan Dunn in Jackass

Bam Margera

So, we've driven an hour north from Miami to Boca Raton, believe it or not, to film Steve-O jump into nine days worth of elephant poo.

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass

Steve-O

Did you see the way I stopped the beanbag with my stomach? That's instinct. You can't teach that!

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass

Now I know what it feels like to be my liver!

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass - getting doused with wine

I'm seriously going to die right now.

Tony Hawk in Jackass

Oh dude, you look like an egg with legs!

Bam Margera in Jackass - about his dad with a Elvis suit on

I'm sick of the whole pooping thing... I'm gonna go get my butt cheeks pierced together.

Steve-O in Jackass

Ass Pooping

Since we no longer have to bleep cuss words, I promise I will get my mom to say, "f-" by the end of this movie.

Bam Margera in Jackass

Bam Margera: "Now these rocket skates are going to be a little different than the last."
Johnny Knoxville: "You using different bottle rockets?"
Bam Margera: "Nope. Just more of 'em."

Bam Margera in Jackass - The Movie

California has officially announced that jaywalking is now no longer a crime. So congratulations to the Californians who like walking places. This is great news for the six of you.

Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - October 2022

California

New Mexico. It's another state. I mean, it's like California, just less traffic.

Lalo Salamanca in Better Call Saul - Season 6 Episode 5

California New Mexico

We all have our little faults. Mine's in California.

Lex Luthor in Superman

California

All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year.

Gloria Swanson

California

Helsinki may not be as cold as you make it out to be, but California is still a lot nicer. I don't remember the last time I couldn't walk around in shorts all day.

Linus Torvalds

California Helsinki

The apparent ease of California life is an illusion, and those who believe the illusion real live here in only the most temporary way.

Joan Didion

California

Things are tough all over, cupcake. An' it rains on the just an' the unjust alike... except in California.

Silk Spectre in Watchmen -

Justice California

I read the Life magazine articles about free love and free dope in California. At age 20 I drove to Los Angeles.

Glenn Frey

Los Angeles California

That's the great thing about California, you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach on the same day.

Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory - Season 11 Episode 11

California

You know what's remarkable? That England looks in no way like Southern California.

Austin Powers in Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me

England & Great Britain California

Becky Feder: "Daddy! Where is it taking them?"
Marcus Higgins: "Hell."
Lenny Feder: "Higgins. Don't say that."
Marcus Higgins: "Oh I'm sorry. Not Hell... Mexico."

Marcus Higgins in Grown Ups

Mexico

A tortilla is either corn or wheat. But a corn tortilla folded and filled is a taco, whereas a filled wheat tortilla is a burrito. Deep fry a burrito, it's a chimichanga. Toast a tortilla, it's a tostada. Roll it, it's an enchilada.

Emma in One Day

Mexico

If you see German soldiers, don't panic. They are here to help.

Donald Tusk (about German soldiers helping with floodings in Poland) - September 2024

Polen

Domenico: "Baby, please calm down!"
Olga: "I can't calm down. I'm Polish!"

Olga in 365 Days - This Day

Polen

Scott Potasnik: "You guys are gonna hate me an hour from now."
Johnny Knoxville: "We hate you already."

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass

That had bad news written all over it!

Johnny Knoxville in Jackass - The Movie

Whose d do I gotta suck to get some explosions around here?

Bam Margera in Jackass

It's like when your parents said "I'm not mad at you, just disappointed." You know that hurt so much more.

Steve-O in Jackass

I am so glad I turned this idea down!

Steve-O in Jackass - The Movie

Hi, I'm Ryan Dunn, and I'm about to get the shit kicked out of me by a girl.

Ryan Dunn in Jackass - The Movie

Steve-O: "We wanted to see if you would run."
Ryan Dunn: "I'm not running anywhere with a toy car shoved up my butt."

Ryan Dunn in Jackass - The Movie

I'm Raab Himself and I'm a complete f*cking idiot!

Chris Raab in Jackass

Johnny Knoxville: "Is this the worst you've ever had to go boom-boom?"
Dave England: "No man. I shit my pants at the fair."

Dave England in Jackass - The Movie

I conside skateboarding an art form, a lifestyle and a sport.

Tony Hawk

Skating

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

The best Quotes by Chris Pontius

You might like these Quotes aswell

Related pages to Chris Pontius