If you die on me, I will kill you.
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Org*sms don't send you Valentine's cards and don't hold your hand in a sad movie.
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3The only way to get over somebody is to feel really bad, cry to your girlfriends - and to replay what you hated about him over and over in your head all day.
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11Is your v*gina listed in the New York City guide books? Because it should be - hottest spot in town. Always open.
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19If he never calls me again, I'll always think of him fondly... as an a-shole!
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15I decided to stop avoiding the situation and take the grown-up approach... complete and utter denial!
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8It's like the riddle of the Sphinx; why are there so many great unmarried women - and no great unmarried men?
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8Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free, until they find someone just as wild to run with.
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8Men in their 40s are like the 'New York Times' Sunday crossword puzzle: tricky, complicated and you're never really sure you've got the right answer.
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6I pity him, because I get to walk away and be me and he has to walk away and stay him... who wants to be him when you can be me?
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5Samantha: "I never Ieave underwear, because I never see it again."
Charlotte: "What happens to it?"
Samantha: "Nothing, I never go back."
Carrie: "Isn't it a Iittle expensive disposing of lingerie every time you sleep with a guy?"
Samantha: "That's why I stopped wearing underwear on dates."
Miranda: "That's why I'm never borrowing a dress from you again."
Charlotte: "I once found another woman's underwear in a man's bed."
Carrie: "Maybe it was Samantha's!"
Charlotte: "What happens to it?"
Samantha: "Nothing, I never go back."
Carrie: "Isn't it a Iittle expensive disposing of lingerie every time you sleep with a guy?"
Samantha: "That's why I stopped wearing underwear on dates."
Miranda: "That's why I'm never borrowing a dress from you again."
Charlotte: "I once found another woman's underwear in a man's bed."
Carrie: "Maybe it was Samantha's!"
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5Miranda: "If 85% aren't circumcised, that means I've only slept with 15% of the population, tops."
Carrie: "You're practically a virgin."
Carrie: "You're practically a virgin."
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5Charlotte: "What is wrong with people just staying who they were?"
Carrie: "Some of us don't have that luxury."
Carrie: "Some of us don't have that luxury."
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1Are you sure? Because alone in theory is very different than alone in reality.
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Miranda: "She didn't even have the balls to tell me she sent it. She just amazoned me."
Carrie: "Amazoned me? Did you just make that up?"
Carrie: "Amazoned me? Did you just make that up?"
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5No wonder the city never sleeps, it's too busy trying to get laid.
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5Carrie: "Something Iike 85% aren't circumcised."
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Carrie: "It's a penis, not Godzilla."
Charlotte: "Great, now they're taking over the world!"
Carrie: "It's a penis, not Godzilla."
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2I was once with a guy the size of one of those little miniature golf pencils. Couldn't tell if he was trying to f*ck me or erase me.
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Samantha: "The invitation said 'BYOB'."
Miranda: "That meant 'bring your own baby'!"
Carrie: "What did you get her?"
Miranda: "Condoms."
Samantha: "The invitation said 'BYOB'."
Miranda: "That meant 'bring your own baby'!"
Carrie: "What did you get her?"
Miranda: "Condoms."
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1Sheldon: "You do understand that our efforts here will in no way increase the odds of having sexual congress with this woman?"
Leonard: "Men do things for women without expecting sex."
Sheldon: "Those would be men who just had sex."
Leonard: "Men do things for women without expecting sex."
Sheldon: "Those would be men who just had sex."
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9Every girl is beautiful. Sometimes it just takes the right guy to see it.
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Lip: "Apple fell where you dropped it."
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V: "You always pick p*ssies!"
Fiona: "Well, they are what they eat."
Fiona: "Well, they are what they eat."
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Big: "I'm just wondering who this person is I'm looking at, because I remember when you kept your sweaters in the stove."
Carrie: "I remember when your hair was black."
Big: "That's really uncalled for."
Carrie: "I remember when your hair was black."
Big: "That's really uncalled for."
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Charlotte: "But maybe she should have."
Anthony: "And what? I would've grown up to be a fairy? Don't answer that. It's too easy."
Charlotte: "But maybe she should have."
Anthony: "And what? I would've grown up to be a fairy? Don't answer that. It's too easy."
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Samantha: "I don't get laid, unless the Knicks win. Can I just say? They and I have been on a very long losing streak."
Carrie: "That's awful."
Samantha: "No kidding. The Knicks are the only ones getting screwed!"
Carrie: "That's awful."
Samantha: "No kidding. The Knicks are the only ones getting screwed!"
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Samantha: "I think it's sad the way she's using a child to validate her existence."
Carrie: "Exactly. Why can't she just use sex and a nice cocktail like the rest of us?"
Carrie: "Exactly. Why can't she just use sex and a nice cocktail like the rest of us?"
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1Stanford: "This is Manhattan, even the shrinks have shrinks."
Carrie: "The fact was, Stanford was right. The therapist was as ubiquitous in Manhattan as pirated cable."
Stanford: "I have three. One when I want to be cuddled, one when I want tough Iove and one for when I just want to Iook at a really beautiful man."
Carrie: "That's sick."
Stanford: "Which is why I see the other two."
Carrie: "The fact was, Stanford was right. The therapist was as ubiquitous in Manhattan as pirated cable."
Stanford: "I have three. One when I want to be cuddled, one when I want tough Iove and one for when I just want to Iook at a really beautiful man."
Carrie: "That's sick."
Stanford: "Which is why I see the other two."
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2One downside of our big brains is we're the only creatures who are aware that death is inevitable. Although, if you lined ten dogs in a row and shot them one by one, the dog on the end would probably get the gist by about dog four.
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