The best Quotes by Charlie Brooker

The best Quotes by Charlie Brooker

Charlton Brooker (born 3 March 1971) is an English television presenter, writer, producer and satirist. He is the creator and co-showrunner of the sci-fi drama anthology series Black Mirror, and has written for comedy series such as Brass Eye, The 11 O'Clock Show and Nathan Barley.

Nothing happens in cricket, ever. Even the highlights resemble a freeze frame.
Tinder is the ultimate gamification of romance. It's "Pokemon Go" for the heart.
Is hacking ever acceptable? It depends on the motive.
I've never lost that freelance mentality. You can't take a holiday because you're worried the work will dry up.
In the early '80s, the arcade game Pac-Man was twice as popular as oxygen.
1
If you're living in a dystopia, you don't necessarily want to look at another one.
If someone doesn't respond to a phone call, I think they've died.
Brexit is a harbinger for Trump, really.

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Apparently, Islam can be a sensitive topic, and the producers say if I don't follow this script to the letter, there's a chance I'll cause a serious international incident.
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 2
The European kings agreed and launched a sort of armed charity drive to forcibly provide the Islamic world with crucifixes. They called it "cruce-aid".
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 2
The Dark Ages were a tragedy for human progress that put back the ollout of 5G by hundreds of years.
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 2
If you were Christian back then, perhaps the worst place to find yourself was the Colosseum, an area of misery on a par with Birmingham.
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 2
Whether or not they think he was the actual son of God who performed miracles like walking on wine or helping a deaf man see, they all agree he preached tolerance and forgiveness, a message so important his most ardent followers would eventually start killing anyone who didn't want to hear it.
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 2
Thanks to the volcano we know every-day Romans had grey skin, were totally bald, and spent their time lying around inside their shockingly dusty houses.
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 1
When most first think of the word "empire", we think of the big one: Star Wars! Or Rome. And this is history, so it's Rome.
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 1
Philosophy is basically thinking about thinking. Which sounds like a waste of time, because it is.
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 1
The ancient Greeks invented lots of things we still have today, like medicine and olives. And lots of things that have died out, like democracy and pillars. They also developed culture in the form of yoghurt and theater in all its tedious forms.
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 1
Emojis. Or as the ancient Egyptians who invented them called them: Hieroglyphics.
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 1
Writing changed the world. Suddenly ideas didn't have to disappear just because the person whose head they were trapped in had died.
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 1
Having conquered numbers, humankind moved on to something even more boring: by inventing writing.
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 1
The wheel allowed people to travel around, trading things. But first, they needed to count how many things they owned. And that led to the tragic invention of maths.
Philomena Cunk in Cunk On Earth - Episode 1
Know yourself, know your adversary, and you hold the key to victory.
Ash Ketchum in Pokémon - Season 1 Episode 7
7
It's more important to master the cards you're holding than to complain about the ones your opponent was dealt.
Astor in Pokémon - Black Edition
6
Oha! Somebody has chosen the wrong Pokemon.
Moderator in Pokémon - Pokémon Stadium (N64)
4
It's magic that brought us together. And that magic is called hope.
Pokémon - Detective Pikachu
3
I see now that the circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant; it is what you do with the gift of life.
Mewtu in Pokémon - Der Film: Mewtu gegen Mew
2
I've known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy. He's a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it - Jeffrey enjoys his social life.
In order to make America great and glorious again, I am tonight announcing my candidacy for president of the United States.
Donald Trump - November 2022
I'm not going to say it right now. So, everybody, I promise you, in the very next - very, very, very short period of time, you're going to be so happy.
Donald Trump - November 2022, implies he's rerunning for President in 2024 elections
If you want to stop the destruction of our country and save the American dream, then this Tuesday you must vote Republican in a giant way.
Donald Trump - November 2022
You see the mob takes the Fifth. If you're innocent, why are you taking the Fifth Amendment?
Donald Trump - May 2017
I don't watch cricket very much, but of course I enjoy whenever I see the sport, especially live, because of the energy in the stadium with the fans going crazy.
I want to keep on adding new skills to my armoury.
If you wanna spend money to have a shitty night, just go on a Tinder date: "Oh, wow. That's so interesting. I've never met anyone who likes to travel before."
Today is Spotify-Wrapped-Day. The day that Spotify looks at our music and reminds us that we're all a basic b*tch. Thank God, Tinder doesn't do a year-end wrap-up just to remind you of all the terrible decisions you made on desperate nights.
Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - December 2022
Without those hackers, we wouldn't solve the problems we need to solve, especially security.
Fred Durst - February 2005
More companies are moving to new stronger technologies to authenticate user identities, like biometrics. Because it's just too easy for hackers to figure out usernames and passwords, like "password" or 12345... 7. Those are some of my previous passwords. I've changed them since then.
Barack Obama (as President of the United States of America) - February 2015
She is cheating. No one can be that attractive and this skilled at a video game.
Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 7
7
Being human totally sucks most of the time. Videogames are the only thing that make life bearable.
2
Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie.
Olive Penderghast in Easy A
7
Becky Feder: "How long ago was the '80s?"
Keithie Feder: "That was way back in the 1900s. We learned about it in school. It was wack. The phones had long, curly things coming out of the end. You had to watch commercials."
Brexit Analogy; We've all been on a night out with a mate who says, "it's shit here - let's go somewhere else." Then, when you leave, you realise he has no idea where to go and the place you left won't let you back in. The United Kingdom is standing in a kebab shop at 2 am, arguing about whose fault it is.
1
I deal with tough mathematical questions every day, but please don’t ask me to help with Brexit!
1
There's no sense in going out of your way, just to get somebody to like you.
2
Choose it or lose it!
2
Ash: "He hasn't come up against somebody like me."
Misty: "He's getting a big head."
Brock: "Yeah, but his brain's still the same size."
A Caterpie may change into a Butterfree, but the heart that beats inside remains the same.
The Pokémon trainer's judgement is more important than anything else and unfortunately for you, the trainer has to have some brain.
Gary: "Even your Pikachu feels sorry for you, Ash. I've never seen anyone so pathetic."
Misty: "Have you tried a mirror?"

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Philomena CunkThe best Quotes from the Pokémon-universePokémonDonald TrumpCricketTinderHackersVideo gamesThe best Quotes about the 80s - Eighties80sBrexit - Quotes about Great Britain leaving the EUBrexitAsh Ketchum