The best Quotes by Chandler Bing

The best Quotes by Chandler Bing

Chandler Muriel Bing is a fictional character from the NBC sitcom Friends, portrayed by actor Matthew Perry. Chandler was born to Nora Tyler Bing, an erotic romance novelist, and Charles Bing, a gay female impersonator and star of a Las Vegas drag show called "Viva Las Gay-gas" as Helena Handbasket.

Ross: "I could ask her to live with me. I mean, why not?"
Chandler: "Because you've only known her for six weeks. I've got a carton of milk in my refrigerator I've had a longer relationship with."
Friends - Season 4 Episode 19
2
Joey: "You're smoking again?"
Chandler: "Well, actually, yesterday I was smoking again. Today, I'm smoking still."
Friends - Season 3 Episode 17
2
Joey: "Some girl ate Monica."
Monica: "Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds!"
Chandler: "So how many cameras are actually on you?"
Friends - Season 2 Episode 14
1
Joey: "My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral."
Chandler: "Joey... Switzerland?"
Friends - Season 1 Episode 21
1
Rachel: "I will see you and I'll raise you. Do you wanna waste another buck?"
Ross: "No, not this time. What did you have?"
Rachel: "I'm not telling."
Ross: "Come on, show them."
Rachel: "Get your hands out of there!"
Chandler: "I've had dates like this."
Friends - Season 1 Episode 18
1
Monica: "This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex."
Chandler: "Sounds like a date to me."
Friends - Season 1 Episode 1
1
Ross: "She's got to go back to London. But, you know what? I've been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together and then that's it."
Joey: "That's what all my relationships are like."
Chandler: "Yes, but in Ross' case, they both know in two weeks that's it."
Friends - Season 4 Episode 16
Phoebe: "For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience."
Chandler: "I don't think you can make that statement, unless you've been kicked in the area, God only meant to be treated nicely."
Friends - Season 3 Episode 16
Ross: "It's just that I don't think breast milk is for adults."
Chandler: "Although, the packaging does appeal to adults and kids alike."
Friends - Season 2 Episode 2
Chandler: "This piece of furniture was fine until your breakfast adventure with Angela Delveccio."
Joey: "You knew about that?"
Chandler: "The impressions you made in the butter left little to the imagination."
Friends - Season 1 Episode 12
Chandler's Mom: "Anything you want from Lisbon?"
Chandler: "Just knowing you're there is enough."
Friends - Season 1 Episode 11
"You're such a nice guy" means "I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you."
Friends - Season 1 Episode 3

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Love lasts forever, you know? Nothing like it in this lifetime. Money in the bank.
Ross Geller in Friends - Season 3 Episode 17
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Joey: "Pheebs, wanna help?"
Phoebe: "I wish I could, but I don't want to."
Phoebe Buffay in Friends - Season 1 Episode 1
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Phoebe: "I was the last to know when you had a crush on Joey when he was moving in."
Joey: "What?"
Phoebe: "Oh, looks like I was second to last."
Phoebe Buffay in Friends - Season 1 Episode 7
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Monica: "Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding."
Ross: "A 'no sex'-pact, huh? I actually have one of those going on with every woman in America."
Ross Geller in Friends - Season 7 Episode 19
1
Alice Knight: "We were just at the drugstore, so we got you a little present."
Frank Buffay: "It's a lollipop and a home pregnancy test."
Monica: "Don't mix those up, you could really ruin that lollipop."
Monica Geller in Friends - Season 4 Episode 12
1
Joey: "It's never taken me more than a week to get over a relationship."
Monica: "It's never taken you more than a shower to get over a relationship."
Monica Geller in Friends - Season 3 Episode 17
1
Nice try. You see, the Netherlands is this make-believe place where Peter Pan and Tinkerbell come from.
Joey Tribbiani in Friends - Season 3 Episode 9
1
Phoebe: "It's not mine, I didn't earn it. If i kept it, it would be like stealing."
Rachel: "Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping."
Rachel Green in Friends - Season 1 Episode 3
1
Ross: "My new beeper."
Joey: "Why does a paleontologist need a beeper?"
Monica: "Is it for dinosaur emergencies? Help! They're still extinct!"
Monica Geller in Friends - Season 1 Episode 22
1
Phoebe: "Now we need the s-men of a righteous man."
Rachel: "If we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place."
Rachel Green in Friends - Season 1 Episode 14
1
Rules are good. Rules help control the fun.
Monica Geller in Friends - Season 5 Episode 5
1
Moo Point. It's like a cow's opinion, it just doesn't matter.
Joey Tribbiani in Friends - Season 7 Episode 8
Joey: "I'm having new headshows taken tomorrow,right? And the photographer said that she thinks I should have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?"
Phoebe: "Well, it depends."
Joey: "On?"
Phoebe: "On how far along he is in the sex change process."
Phoebe Buffay in Friends - Season 9 Episode 13
Chandler: "Oh my God, those are my bedroom eyes? Why did you ever sleep with me?"
Monica: "Do you really want to pull at that thread?"
Monica Geller in Friends - Season 7 Episode 5
Chandler: "Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break?"
Ross: "What's the difference?"
Monica: "Well, a spring vacation you're doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break you're doing frat guys."
Monica Geller in Friends - Season 6 Episode 19
Joey: "Can you close that window, Chandler? My nipples could cut glass over here."
Phoebe: "Wait, really? 'Cause mine get me out of tickets."
Phoebe Buffay in Friends - Season 3 Episode 17
Joey: "I had the same dream."
Phoebe: "Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl."
Joey: "Oh, I had the opposite dream."
Joey Tribbiani in Friends - Season 3 Episode 17
Joey: "Monica, relax. Go get a beer."
Monica: "I don't want a beer."
Joey: "Who said it was for you?"
Joey Tribbiani in Friends - Season 2 Episode 21
Ross: "Look, will you guys grow up? This is the most natural, beautiful thing in the world."
Joey: "Yeah, we know, but there's a baby sucking on it."
Joey Tribbiani in Friends - Season 2 Episode 2
Ross: "Rach, did you proofread these?"
Rachel: "Why?"
Ross: "Nothing. I'm sure they'll be impressed with your 'compuper' skills."
Rachel: "Oh, my God! Do you think it's on all of them?"
Joey: "No, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few."
Joey Tribbiani in Friends - Season 1 Episode 18
I'm sick of the lousy tips. I'm sick of being called 'Excuse Me'.
Rachel Green in Friends - Season 1 Episode 18
Joey: "You broke the code."
Ross: "What code?"
Joey: "You don't kiss your friend's mom. Sisters are okay, maybe a hot-Iooking aunt, but not a mom. Never a mom!"
Joey Tribbiani in Friends - Season 1 Episode 11
Women can see breasts anytime they want. You just look down, and there they are. How you get any work done is beyond me.
Joey Tribbiani in Friends - Season 1 Episode 5
One woman? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something. There's lots of flavors out there. Rocky road, and cookie dough, and bing cherry vanilla. You can get them with jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream. Welcome back to the world, grab a spoon!
Joey Tribbiani in Friends - Season 1 Episode 1
Robin, girls are like cartons of milk. Each one has a hotness expiration date and you've hit yours. I'm not saying the occasional guy won't still open the fridge, pick you up, give a sniff, shrug and take a sip anyway, but it's all downhill from here.
Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 1
2
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.
1
There can be no balance with a hand on the scale.
1
The greatest tragedies were written by the Greeks and by Shakespeare. Neither knew chocolate. The Swiss are known for nonviolence. They are also known for superb chocolate.
3
Hey, if you got a second - stop staring at my boobs!
Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 1
2
My heart would never flutter for those who needlessly hurt others!

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