The best Quotes by Carlton Banks

Bel-Air - Season 1

I know you can hear me with ears that big.

Well, someone has her rude hat on tonight.

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Carlton: "Within an hour, I'll have a gorgeous date and a great Halloween costume."
Will: "You better buy the mask first!"

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air - Season 1 Episode 8

Will: "Carlton, I misjudged you. You're a lot cooler than I thought. Hey, you wanna go to the club with us tonight?"
Carlton: "I don't have a date."
Will: "Carlton, never bring a sandwich to a buffet!"

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Will: "What's so funny?"
Hilary: "Carlton just told a joke."
Will: "No, Hilary, Carlton is a joke."

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

A hard head makes for a soft behind.

Philip Banks in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Carlton: "If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and smells like a duck, what is it?"
Will: "Your prom date?"

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Vivian: "Excuse me. I'm looking for that store with the safari clothes. I can't remember the name, but I think there's some type of produce in it."
"Banana Republic."
Vivian: "That's it. Thank you."

Vivian Banks in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air - Season 1 Episode 8

Any time you see a white guy in jail, you know he did something bad.

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Congratulate me. It took all day, but I finally found the perfect pair of alligator pumps to wear to the "Save the Everglades" dinner tonight.

Hilary Banks in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Will: "Come on Uncle Phil, you're gonna ruin my rep."
Uncle Phil: "You're only 17, you don't have a rep yet."

Philip Banks in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Carlton: "I'm sick of being such a big loser."
Will: "Aw, C... you're not big."

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Oh my god, Carlton! What's that hideous thing growing out of your neck? Ah, never mind. It's just your head.

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

I found that any game can be made interesting if you put some money on it.

Geoffrey Butler in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Gambling

Man, I love Halloween. It's the only time of year when a black man can wear a mask at night and not get arrested!

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Halloween

What kind of idiot picks a password no one can guess?

Hilary Banks in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Girl, you look so good, I would marry your brother just to get in your family.

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Bad Pickup Lines

Carlton, you are grounded for a month. Will, added to the month that you already have, it should take you into Fiscal '91.

Philip Banks in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Phillip Banks: "Going to college isn't just about finding a job. It's about finding yourself, and finding what you do best that makes a contribution to the community. It shouldn't be just about money."
Will: "You really believe that, Uncle Phil?"
Phillip Banks: "Yes, son, I really do."
Will: "Then how do you explain becoming a lawyer?"

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Lawyer

Phillip Banks: "Penn State would've been my first choice if my applications to Princeton, Yale, and Talledega Tech had fallen through."
Dr. Hoover: "You must have been an athlete in your thinner days."

Philip Banks in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

A real man takes responsibility for his actions. A real man knows when to let go of his pride and make the most out of his second chance.

Philip Banks in Bel-Air - Season 1

This town will try to make you forget who you are and where you came from. Don't let it do that!

Bel-Air - Season 1

Why are we working so hard to save a boy who doesn't want to be saved?

Philip Banks in Bel-Air - Season 1

Man, you know I'm gonna rep West Philly wherever I go.

Will Smith in Bel-Air - Season 1

Girl, yo feet must be tired cause you've been running through my mind all day.

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Bad Pickup Lines

Girl, the way you looking so good, I wish just I could plant you and grow a whole field of ya'll.

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Bad Pickup Lines

Fifty bucks? I could take like... 25 women out to dinner!

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Hey baby, I noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to put you on notice that I noticed you too.

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Bad Pickup Lines

Girl, don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful!

Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Maybe I sometimes say things that are selfish and self-centered, but that's who I am, dammit.

Hilary Banks in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Phillip Banks: "Geoffrey, bring me my tools."
Geoffrey: "Do you mean your knife and fork, sir?"

Geoffrey Butler in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

The best Quotes by Carlton Banks

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