The best Quotes by Carl Gallagher

Lanier: "Your body is a temple, Carl, and you only want to put things in it that are natural."
Carl: "Like fists? I saw it in that movie."

Shameless - Season 3 Episode 6

Veronica: "What's that smell? It's either vomit or fancy cheese."
Carl: "It can be both if you want."

Shameless - Season 1 Episode 5

Quotes about Carl Gallagher

Every day you wake up breathing, you should be coloring me a note of gratitude that the half of you that came from me wasn't spooged on your mother's neck, but instead was guided by yours truly to get up inside of her to start the life of you.

Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 2 Episode 2

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I love you. It means we take care of each other. It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit.

Mickey Milkovich in Shameless - Season 5 Episode 12

Love declerations

You can’t drink him away. It won’t work.

Debbie Gallagher in Shameless - Season 5 Episode 8

Alcohol Breakup

I believe the answer to that question, like the answer to most questions, is f*ck you!

Phillip Gallagher in Shameless - Season 2 Episode 8

Love is not supposed to be cute. Love is supposed to be raw and destructive.

Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 7 Episode 10

Love

Jenna dances for an audience. You dance like there's no one else in the room. You life's not simple, Fiona, and you can't stop it from showing because you're no fake. You're not lost. You don't need finding. This whole city belongs to the Jennas, I'm sick of them. I swear, Fiona, you're nothing like anyone I've ever met. You make me want to enjoy my life again.

Jimmy Lishman in Shameless - Season 1 Episode 1

Fiona Gallagher Love declerations

If God didn't want us putting things up our ass, he would have given the rectum a gag reflex.

Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 4

Ass

Every time we open our hearts, every time we open our gates, we take a risk.

Sarah Cleary in Shameless - Season 6

Sometimes when people love each other very much, they need time apart, so when they come back together, their love is even stronger.

Sheila Jackson in Shameless - Season 2

You did okay, Mickey. You know, you tried. That’s a lot more than most people would do.

Phillip Gallagher in Shameless - Season 5 Episode 6

Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"

Shameless - Season 3 Episode 12

Restaurants

What can I say, once you go white, you always stay tight. Hey, I think I just insulted myself.

Kevin Ball in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 12

Frank: "What did they get you for again?"
"Beat my ex-wife to death with a telephone."
Frank': "Cordless or landline?"

Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 12

Been sleeping in this car six years. Pissed, puked, jizzed in it. By law of bodily fluids, it's mine.

Shameless - Season 3 Episode 11

Kate: "Fishing? Gonna use your tiny dick as a worm?"
Frank: "I've caught some big whales with this little worm. Yourself included there, Moby."

Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 6

You get along a lot better with a weapon and a kind word than a kind word alone.

Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 2

Weapons

That's the Gallagher sperm. Ambitious, relentless. Everything we're not once we're born. Like heat-seeking, baby-making missiles. Won't be long before the country's nothing but Mexicans and Gallaghers.

Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 2 Episode 5

I am fed up with these pan-gender hermaphrodites who hate that human beings are a species with two distinct genders. It's like they've declared war on testicles. They wanna remove all the masculinity from the schools, fill the world with yogurt-eaters.

Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 1 Episode 6

We all have our phobias and school is mine. All of it. Textbooks full of falsehoods, teachers unions full of thugs, and tenured imbeciles who still use words like "irregardless".

Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 1 Episode 6

Why are all the news ladies Chinese? They should stick to what they know: railroads, sushi and dim sum.

Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 1 Episode 4

China

This is not a dictatorship. This is America. Give me liberty, or give me meth.

Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 7

USA

Debs, we need at least one person in this family to not turn cynical, and my money's been on you.

Phillip Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 10

Debbie Gallagher

I don't go onto Facebook because I don't give a shit about whose pet just died or who just checked in at the f*cking McDonald's.

Phillip Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 9

Facebook

Seriosly, I don't mean to be an asshole, it's just... genetic.

Fiona Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 6

I kind of have no choice. I gotta find Frank. Get him sober and ready to appear in court. He's like my sad-ass Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Fiona Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 6

Frank Gallagher Obi-Wan Kenobi

I'm sorry, but no one speaking English as a first language should be doing this job.

Jimmy Lishman in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 8

Frank: "Four-month-old baby, 14-year-old girl, 11-year-old Lip, 10-year-old Ian, a 7-year-old, a 5-year-old, and a Dodge Astro van. What's the one thing that we needed? One word. One thing."
Jimmy: "Sterilization."

Jimmy Lishman in Shameless - Season 1 Episode 1

Too many Gallaghers in the world already. Instead of passing rubbers out at your school, they should be passing them out at your house.

Kevin Ball in Shameless - Season 2 Episode 10

Frank: "It's not sex if you can't remember it."
Kev: "Ha. Then you're a virgin, Frank."

Kevin Ball in Shameless - Season 2 Episode 2

Frank Gallagher

I have red hair, freckles and crooked teeth. I don't need any more character!

Debbie Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 10

Ginger / Redhairs

Sheila: "Now, by sifting we separate and aerate those flour particles to make them absorb liquids better."
Deb: "Someone should sift my dad."

Debbie Gallagher in Shameless - Season 1 Episode 9

Frank Gallagher

Teenagers. They're hormon-soaked brains aren't wired to think about anyone other than themselves.

Veronica Fisher in Shameless - Season 2 Episode 6

Teenagers

Clare: "Thank you. God loves you."
Veronica: "Yeah, if that were true, he'd have made me white and rich."

Veronica Fisher in Shameless - Season 2 Episode 2

Every time we open our hearts, every time we open our gates, we take a risk.

Sarah Cleary in Shameless - Season 6

You can't lose your virginity to a tampon. It has to be a penis with a man attached.

Sammi Slott in Shameless - Season 4

Penisses

The good parts of love are so good, you're willing to suffer an unbelievable amount of pain just to get to them. That's why I have been married three times and engaged 12.

Sammi Slott in Shameless - Season 4

You're like a f*cking cockroach, able to live anywhere and feed off anything.

Ian Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 6

Phillip Gallagher

Sometimes we get so wrapped up in getting what we want, that we forget to ask ourselves why we wanted it in the first place.

Ian Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 1

Ambition

Sometimes when people love each other very much, they need time apart, so when they come back together, their love is even stronger.

Sheila Jackson in Shameless - Season 2 Episode 9

Love

Phillip: "Did he pitch a tent?"
Karen: "Huh?"
Phillip: "Did you make him hard?"
Karen: "Ever try to play pool with a rope?"

Karen Jackson in Shameless - Season 1 Episode 1

Penisses

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

The best Quotes by Carl Gallagher

Quotes about Carl Gallagher

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