The best Quotes by Captain Beefheart

I have no neighbours other than animals and Joshua Trees.

When I see a dolphin, I know it's just as smart as I am.

I don't look like a desert person because I stay indoors most of the day and fool around at night. That's what the desert animals do - they don't have a tan either.

You can tell by the kindness of a dog how a human should be.

Dogs

The stars are matter, we're matter, but it doesn't matter.

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California has officially announced that jaywalking is now no longer a crime. So congratulations to the Californians who like walking places. This is great news for the six of you.

Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - October 2022

California

New Mexico. It's another state. I mean, it's like California, just less traffic.

Lalo Salamanca in Better Call Saul - Season 6 Episode 5

California New Mexico

We all have our little faults. Mine's in California.

Lex Luthor in Superman

California

All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year.

Gloria Swanson

California

Helsinki may not be as cold as you make it out to be, but California is still a lot nicer. I don't remember the last time I couldn't walk around in shorts all day.

Linus Torvalds

California Helsinki

The apparent ease of California life is an illusion, and those who believe the illusion real live here in only the most temporary way.

Joan Didion

California

Things are tough all over, cupcake. An' it rains on the just an' the unjust alike... except in California.

Silk Spectre in Watchmen -

Justice California

I read the Life magazine articles about free love and free dope in California. At age 20 I drove to Los Angeles.

Glenn Frey

Los Angeles California

That's the great thing about California, you can almost go to the mountains and almost go to the beach on the same day.

Leonard Hofstadter in The Big Bang Theory - Season 11 Episode 11

California

You know what's remarkable? That England looks in no way like Southern California.

Austin Powers in Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me

England & Great Britain California

It's the edge of the world
And all of Western civilization
The sun may rise in the east
At least it's settled in a final location
It's understood that Hollywood sells Californication

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Californication, Album: Californication

California

I drank when I was pregnant with you, you turned out fine. There's everybody saying 'don't drink, don't smoke'. I swear - Texas is turning into California.

Sheldons Großmutter "Meemaw" in Young Sheldon - Season 1 Episode 9

California Texas

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.

Woody Allen

Television California Trash TV

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to California - and that's pretty much the same thing.

California

A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water logged stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if you're rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?

Marley & Me

Animals Dogs

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Mark Twain

Humanity Gratitude Animals Dogs

I am NOT telling you to be aggressive! I am telling you to stay in control. Be calm and assertive!

Cesar Millan (Rudelführer, Hundetrainer)

Dogs

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Josh Billings

Animals Dogs

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

Kinky Friedman

Love Money Animals Dogs

Happiness starts with a wet nose and ends with a tail.

Dogs

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

Charles de Gaulle

Humanity Animals Dogs

A dog is the greatest gift a parent can give a child. OK, a good education, then a dog.

John Grogan

Education Dogs

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

Deadpool

But I don't understand why the Jeffrey Epstein case would be of interest to anybody. It's pretty boring stuff, it's sordid but it's boring and I don't understand why it keeps going.

Donald Trump - July 2025

The Epstein Files

There are two kinds of big companies in the United States. There are those who've been hacked by the Chinese, and those who don't know they've been hacked by the Chinese.

James Comey

China Hackers

I believe that Americans should be deeply skeptical of government power. You cannot trust people in power. The founders knew that. That's why they divided power among three branches, to set interest against interest.

James Comey

The best Quotes by Captain Beefheart

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