The best Quotes by Calvin and Hobbes

Things are never quite as scary when you''ve got a best friend.

I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside.

Childhood is short and maturity is forever.

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.

If you couldn't find any weirdness, maybe we'll just have to make some.

Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon, everything is different.

To make a bad day worse, spend it wishing for the impossible.

It's not the pace of life I mind. It's the sudden stop at the end.

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.

I'm crying because out there he's gone, but he's not gone inside me.

I say, if your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

I'm related to people I don't relate to.

Did you ever wonder if the person in the mirror is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

If people could put rainbows in zoos, they'd do it.

As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.

This is what entertainment is all about: idiots, explosives and falling anvils.

The best presents don't come in boxes.

It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don''t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

Calvin: "I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius."
Hobbes: "What's misunderstood about you?"
Calvin: "Nobody thinks I'm a genius."

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

I understand my tests are popular reading in the teachers' lounge.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.

People always make the mistake of thinking art is created for them. But really, art is a private language for sophisticates to congratulate themselves on their superiority to the rest of the world. As my artist’s statement explains, my work is utterly incomprehensible and is therefore full of deep significance.

I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.