Quotes by Calvin Trillin

I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.

The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.

I'm more disturbed when people expect me to be serious.

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.