The best Quotes from Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The best Quotes from Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Brooklyn Nine-Nine is an American police procedural comedy television series. The show aired from September 17, 2013, to September 16, 2021, for a total of eight seasons and 153 episodes.

Jacob Peralta is my best detective. He likes putting away bad guys and he loves solving puzzles. The only puzzle he hasn't solved is how to grow up.
Terry Jeffords - Season 1 Episode 1
Peralta: "I'm just gonna grab a healthy breakfast."
Holt: "Are those gummybears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?"
Peralta: "Breakfast-Burrito... but, yeah."
Holt: "I pity your dentist."
Peralta: "Joke's on you, I don't have a dentist!"
Jacob Peralta - Season 1 Episode 15
Raymond: "Here are two pictures. One is your locker, the other is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Can you tell which is which?"
Jacob: "That one's the dump?"
Raymond: "They're both your locker!"
Captain Raymond Holt - Season 1 Episode 2
Guy: "I'm super glad you guys are here right now. Are you smelling that weed smell? 'Cause a dude broke in, smoked weed and bolted."
Jacob: "Do you think it's the same dude that left that bong there on the floor?"
Jacob Peralta - Season 1 Episode 1
Raymond: "Everyone! I'm your new commanding officer, Captain Ray Holt."
Amy: "Speech!"
Raymond: "That was my speech."
Captain Raymond Holt - Season 1 Episode 1
Wuntch: "Hello Raymond, how do you like my new office? Twentieth floor."
Raymond: "Yes, I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you."
She's a devil and you don't dance with the devil, because you get burned. Also because in Madeline's case, she has no rhythm and her hands are like little rat claws.
Wuntch: "Sticks and Stones, Raymond."
Raymond: "Describing your breakfast?"

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George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.
It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now.
90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on.
I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you.
If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins.
Jogging is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?
Ann Perkins in Parks and Recreation - Season 4 Episode 7
One time my refrigerator stopped working. I didn't know what to do. I just moved.
Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation - Season 5 Episode 19
If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?
I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation - Season 3 Episode 2
What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me.
I would like a glass of red wine and I'll take the cheapest one you have because I can't tell the difference.
I'm big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.
I'm going to tell you a secret about everyone else's job: no one knows what they are doing. Deep down, everyone is just faking it until they figure it out.
You don't have to brush all your teeth - just the ones you intend on keeping.
Randall: "I thought you said he was a doctor?"
Dinkle: "Dentists are doctors!"
Randall: "Yeah, and birds are books. What a loser."
Randall Crawford in Paradise PD - Season 1 Episode 1
I love the Philippines. But they need better beer!
Gordon Herbert - September 2023, about Germany winning the World Cup
No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me. I'm like a white, male U.S. Senator.
There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.
Ugh. I hate talking to people about things.
I had to call in a few favors. But if you don't call in favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?

Related pages to Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Captain Raymond HoltPatton OswaltParks and RecreationJacob PeraltaTerry JeffordsTeethDentistsQuotes and Sayings about the PhilippinesPhilippinesLeslie KnopeRon Swanson