Peralta: "I'm just gonna grab a healthy breakfast."
Holt: "Are those gummybears wrapped in a fruit roll-up?"
Peralta: "Breakfast-Burrito... but, yeah."
Holt: "I pity your dentist."
Peralta: "Joke's on you, I don't have a dentist!"
Raymond: "Here are two pictures. One is your locker, the other is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Can you tell which is which?"
Jacob: "That one's the dump?"
Raymond: "They're both your locker!"
Guy: "I'm super glad you guys are here right now. Are you smelling that weed smell? 'Cause a dude broke in, smoked weed and bolted."
Jacob: "Do you think it's the same dude that left that bong there on the floor?"
Jacob Peralta is my best detective. He likes putting away bad guys and he loves solving puzzles. The only puzzle he hasn't solved is how to grow up.Terry Jeffords in Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Season 1 Episode 1
Raymond: "Everyone! I'm your new commanding officer, Captain Ray Holt."
Raymond: "That was my speech."
Wuntch: "Hello Raymond, how do you like my new office? Twentieth floor."
Raymond: "Yes, I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you."
She's a devil and you don't dance with the devil, because you get burned. Also because in Madeline's case, she has no rhythm and her hands are like little rat claws.Captain Raymond Holt in Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Wuntch: "Sticks and Stones, Raymond."
Raymond: "Describing your breakfast?"