The best Quotes by Brett Gelman

The best Quotes by Brett Gelman

Brett Clifford Gelman (born October 6, 1976) is an American actor and comedian. He is best known for his role as Murray Bauman in Netflix's horror-supernatural series Stranger Things and as Martin on the BBC comedy Fleabag.

It's my second week and my third can of Axe body spray.
Inside Job - Season 1 Episode 2

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People say Hawkins is cursed. They're not way off.
Dear Billy, I don't know if you can even hear this. Ever since you left, everything's been a total disaster. For a while, we tried to be happy... normal. I know that's impossible.
A war is coming. I'm afraid your friends at Hawkins are very much in the eye of the storm. I don't know how to say this other than just to say it: without you, we can't win this war.
Sam Owens in Stranger Things - Season 4
It's just, I know I can be a jerk like him sometimes, and I do not want to be like him. Ever.
1
Friends don't lie.
Eleven in Stranger Things - Season 1 Episode 7
6
Feelings. The truth is, for so long, I'd forgotten what those even were. I've been stuck in one place, in a cave you might say. A deep, dark cave. And then, I left some Eggos out in the woods, and you came into my life and for the first time in a long time, I started to feel things again. I started to feel happy. But lately, I guess I've been feeling distant from you. Like you're pulling away from me or something. I miss playing boardgames every night, making triple-decker Eggo extravaganzas at sunrise, watching westerns together before we doze off. But I know you're getting older. Growing. Changing. And I guess if I'm being really honest, that's what scares me. I don't want things to change. So I think maybe that's why I came in here, to try to maybe... stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were. But I know that's naive. It's just not how life works. It's moving. Always moving, whether you like it or not. And, yeah, sometimes it's painful. Sometimes it's sad. And sometimes... it's surprising. Happy. So you know what? Keep on growing up, kid. Don't let me stop you. Make mistakes, learn from 'em and when life hurts you, because it will, remember the hurt. The hurt is good. It means you're out of that cave.
Jim Hopper in Stranger Things - Season 3 Episode 8
4
I am on a curiosity voyage and I need my paddles to travel. These books - these books are my paddles. I need my paddles.
2
You shouldn't like things because people tell you you're supposed to.
1
All living things, from complex mammals to single-celled organisms, instinctively respond to danger. Expose a bacterium to a toxic chemical and it will flee, or deploy some other defense mechanism. We're very much the same. When we encounter danger, our hearts start pounding. Our palms start to sweat. These are the signs of the physical and emotional state we call 'fear.'
Scott Clarke in Stranger Things - Season 2 Episode 4
That's it. Three rules. I call 'em the 'Don't be stupid'-rules. 'Cause we're not stupid, alright?
Jim Hopper in Stranger Things - Season 2 Episode 3
Science is neat, but I’m afraid it’s not very forgiving.
Scott Clarke in Stranger Things - Season 1 Episode 5
Don’t take it so personally, okay? I don’t like most people. He’s in the vast majority.
Jonathan Byers in Stranger Things - Season 1 Episode 5
Dustin: "Even if he is, it doesn't automatically mean that he's bad."
Mike: "That's like saying just because someone's from the Death Star doesn't make them bad."
Dustin: "We have a bond."
Mike: "A bond? Just because he likes nougat?"
Mike Wheeler in Stranger Things - Season 2 Episode 3
1
Presumptuous... that's a good thing, right?
Dustin Henderson in Stranger Things - Season 2 Episode 2
1
Why are there so many Latina's in Illinois?
Because that's where the Chica go.
They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Illinois - and that's pretty much the same thing.
Once the withdrawal finally wore off, I realized sobriety agrees with me. So I took a shower, combed the cigarette ash out of my pubes and - boom - sober Rand is back.
Rand Ridley in Inside Job - Season 1 Episode 2
Daddy needs a new liver, honey. Can you grab one from the organ lab? It's urgent. Also, some booze. Just something to make the new live feel at home.
Rand Ridley in Inside Job - Season 1 Episode 2
I am not going back to my last job doing PR for the Kims. Kardashian and Jong-un. One of them has killed hundreds, and it's not the one you think.
Gigi Thompson in Inside Job - Season 1 Episode 2
Lucas: "Mike's not gonna like it."
Dustin: "Last time I checked our party is not a dictatorship, it's a democracy."
Dustin Henderson in Stranger Things - Season 2 Episode 1
2
Mike: "Where are you going? You just said, 'stick to the plan'."
Dustin: "I am. I'm just gonna go get some chocolate pudding."
Dustin Henderson in Stranger Things - Season 1 Episode 8
1
'You leaving already, Chief?"
Jim Hopper: "Oh, come on, you think I actually wanted to come to this thing? I was just hungry."
'Oh, yeah, that's the spirit."
Jim Hopper: "Well, your wife doesn't have time to cook for me, you know what I'm saying."
Jim Hopper in Stranger Things - Season 1 Episode 8
This is Hawkins, okay? You wanna know the worst thing that's ever happened here in the four years I've been working here? It was when an owl attacked Eleanor Gillespie's head because it though that her hair was a nest.
Jim Hopper in Stranger Things - Season 1 Episode 1
You're a freak, but what? Do you wanna be normal? Do you wanna be just like everyone else?
Jonathan Byers in Stranger Things - Season 2 Episode 1
4
He made me kill a rabbit. I guess he thought it would make me into more of a man or something. I cried for a week.
Jonathan Byers in Stranger Things - Season 1 Episode 5
2
Friends... they tell each other things. Things that parents don't know.
Mike Wheeler in Stranger Things - Season 1 Episode 2
1
Mike: "A friend is someone that you'd do anything for."
Dustin: "You lend them your cool stuff, like comic books and trading cards."
Mike: "And they never break a promise."
Mike Wheeler in Stranger Things - Season 1 Episode 2
1
Friends tell the truth.
Eleven in Stranger Things - Season 1 Episode 3
1
Mike Wheeler: "I'm not prostituting my sister."
Lucas Sinclair: "But it's for a good cause."
Lucas Sinclair in Stranger Things - Season 2 Episode 1
What's the point of unchecked power if we don't abuse it?
Reagan Ridley in Inside Job - Season 1 Episode 2
I actually need a mediocre white man to act as a human shield and social lubricant while I accomplish my real goals.
Reagan Ridley in Inside Job - Season 1 Episode 1
Reagan: "You were fired for getting drunk and trying to blow up the sun."
Rand: "I was gonna cure skin cancer!"
Rand Ridley in Inside Job - Season 1 Episode 1
Reagan: "Has retirement made you go completely insane?"
Rand: "No, but the 5G radio waves in the air have."
Rand Ridley in Inside Job - Season 1 Episode 1
We had to make cutbacks. I already eliminated the department that puts backwards messages on vinyl records.
J.R. Scheimpough in Inside Job - Season 1 Episode 2
You are so funny I could just assassinate you. No, really I could do it. My finger's hovering over the button.
J.R. Scheimpough in Inside Job - Season 1 Episode 1
I invented selfies to trick the country into surveilling themselves.
Gigi Thompson in Inside Job - Season 1 Episode 1

Related pages to Brett Gelman

Stranger ThingsIllinoisInside JobDustin HendersonJim HopperJonathan ByersMike WheelerElevenScott ClarkeMax Mayfield