Quotes from Breaking Bad (Page 2)

If you wanna stay a criminal and not become, say, a convict, maybe you should grow up and listen to your lawyer.

You're now the cute on of the group. Paul, meet Ringo. Ringo, Paul.

Walter: "I have made a series of very bad decisions and I cannot make another one."
Gus: "Why did you make these decisions?"
Walter: "For the good of my family."
Gus: "Then they weren't bad decisions. A man provides for his family."

That's your brain working at maximum capactity?

Kaylee: "I think Jupiter is my favorite. Did you know it's the largest planet in our solar system? It's called the gas giant."
Mike: "Uh, that's not very nice."
Kaylee: "Pop-Pop, it's not that kind of gas."
Mike: "Oh, my mistake."

Is this just a genetic thing with you? Is it congenital? Did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby?

Smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos and masturbating do not constitute "plans" in my book.

I wouldn't trust these two to break into the Special Olympics.

Well, sometimes forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest, doesn't it?

Respect, ése, you gotta give it to get it.

That crystal that your partner brought me... it sold faster than ten-dollar ass in TJ.

Wow! This kicks like a mule with his balls wrapped in duct tape.

Damn. Chick's got an ass like an onion - makes me wanna cry.

Look, a guy doesn't gotta look like, you know, Charlton Heston - I'm talking Moses days - to get a girl, all right? You just gotta have confidence.

Walter Jr.: "Hey, I want a beer."
Hank: "Yeah, I want Shania Twain to give me a tuggy. Guess what. It ain't happening either."

Hank: "You are talking to the trap-car master, my friend. I'm Rain Man counting his toothpicks."
Steven: "Yeah, you're like Rain Man. Retarded."

Don't think so hard, it's gonna hurt your brain!

So right now, what I need is for you to climb down out of my a-s. Can you do that? Will you do that for me, honey?

Some straight like you, giant stick up his a-s all a sudden at age, what, 60, he's just gonna break bad?

Walter Jr.: "So how does it feel to be old?"
Walter: "How does it feel to be a smart-a-s?"

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico. 87104. To all law-enforcement entities, this is not an admission of guilt. I am speaking to my family now. Skyler, you are the love of my life. I hope you know that. Walter Jr., you're my big man. There are going to be some things - things that you'll come to learn about me in the next few days. I just want you to know that, no matter how it may look, I only had you in my heart.

So you’re chasing around a fly and in your world I’m the idiot?

The next time you bring a gun to a job without telling me, I will stick it up your a-s sideways.

Walter: "You're just doing this out of the kindness of your heart?"
Saul: "Come on, have you seen my hourly rate?"

Walter: "How much meth did you sell?"
Jesse: "Nearly an ounce."
Walter: "Last time I checked there were 16 ounces to a pound. What did you do with the rest? Smoke it?"

Cop: "Anything you want us to tell Steve Gomez? Says he's worried about you."
Hank: "Yeah. Tell him I already got two grandmas."

Sometimes you gotta rob to keep your riches.

Good to meet you. Don't drink and drive! But if you do, call me!

Walter White: "Jesus, Jesse did that?"
Saul Goodman: "Yeah, but you gotta understand... deep down, he loves me."

Saul Goodman: "How about Florida? You get a tan, meet the Swedish bikini team, you know, swim with the dolphins."
Jesse Pinkman: "What about... Alaska?"
Saul Goodman: "Alaska, okay. Well, that's a different vibe. I never figured you for a big moose lover, but whatever floats your boat."

I'm a dying man who runs a car-wash. My right hand to God... that is all that I am.

You are trouble. I’m sorry the kid here doesn’t see it, but I sure as hell do. You are a time bomb. Tick tick ticking. And I have no intention for being around for the boom.

We're Done When I Say We're Done!

Someone needs to protect this family from the man who protects this family.

Big doings today. The order of the day is "eyes open, mouth shut."

Don Eladio is dead. His capos are dead. You have no one left to fight for. Fill your pockets and leave in peace. Or fight me and die!

Remembering you that way wouldn't be so bad. The bad way would be to remember you the way... the way you've been this whole last year. At least last night you were... you were real

It was an act of God. Ain't no account for no act of God.

All I know is when he tells me your employer took him out in the desert and threatened to murder his entire family, I sat up and took notice. Because, hey, what am I if not family?

You know what is okay to put in hot dogs? Huh? Pig lips and a-sholes! But I say, hey, have at it b-tches 'cause I love hot dogs.

You’re the one that looks like you just crawled out of a microwave.

Walt: "So why you selling it in such small quantities? Why don’t you just sell the whole pound at once?"
Jesse: "To who? What do I look like? Scarface?"
Walt: "This is unacceptable. I am breaking the law here. This return is too little for the risk. I thought you’d be ready for another pound today."
Jesse: "You may know a lot about chemistry man but you don’t know jack about slangin' dope."

Look, Skylar, I just haven't quite been myself lately. I haven't been myself lately, but I love you. Nothing about that has changed, and nothing ever will. So right now, what I need is for you to climb down out of my a-s. Can you do that? Will you do that for me, honey? Will you please, just once, get off my a-s. You know, I'd appreciate it. I really would.

Like I came to you, begging to cook meth. Oh, hey, nerdiest old dude I know, you wanna come cook crystal? Please. I’d ask my diaper-wearing granny, but her wheelchair wouldn’t fit in the RV.

Jesse: "Is New Zealand part of Australia?"
Jane: "New Zealand is New Zealand."
Jesse: "Right on. New Zealand. That's where they made 'Lord of the Rings'."

Walt: "Castor beans."
Jesse: "So, what are we going to do with them? Are we just gonna grow a magic beanstalk? Huh? Climb it and escape?"
Walt: "We are going to process them into ricin."
Jesse: "Rice ’n Beans?"
Walt: "Ricin. It’s an extremely effective poison."

First order of business is to find a new place to cook. Before anyone says it - no more RV's.

When you have children, you always have family. They will always be your priority, your responsibility. And a man provides. And he does it even when he's not appreciated or respected or even loved. He simply bears up and he does it. Because he's a man.

Let's start with some tough love. You two suck at peddling meth. Period.

Make hay while the sun is still shining.