Quotes from Breaking Bad

You clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot, and you think that of me?! No! I am the one who knocks!

Christ, you two! All I can say is if I ever get anal polyps, I'll know what to name them.

What I came to realize is that fear, that's the worst enemy. So, get up, get out in the real world and you kick that bastard as hard as you can right in the teeth!

You need to stop focusing on the darkness behind you. The past is the past, nothing can change what we've done.

When we do what we do for good reasons, then we’ve got nothing to worry about. And there’s no better reason... than family.

Take it from me, buddy: It's darkest just before the dawn.

Well, you know how they say, "It's been a pleasure"? It hasn't.

What if this is like math? Or algebra? You know, you add a plus douchebag to a minus douchebag, then you get, like, zero douchebags.

Jesse: "Tell this a-shole if he wants to learn how to make my product, he's got to do it my way, the right way."
Mexican Cook: "I speak English."
Jesse: "So you understand what a-shole means. Now, go get me my phenylacetic acid, a-shole."

What’s the point of being an outlaw when you got responsibilities?

Everyone sounds like Meryl Streep with a gun to their head.

We had a good thing, you stupid son of a b-tch! We had Fring, we had a lab, we had everything we needed, and it all ran like clockwork. You could have shut your mouth, cooked, and made as much money as you ever needed. It was perfect. But no, you just had to blow it up. You, and your pride and your ego. You just had to be the man. If you'd known your place, we'd all be fine right now!

You think I came all this way, just to let something as silly as lung-cancer take me down? Not a chance!

If you don’t know who I am... then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.

Walt: "How did you find me?"
Saul: "We should talk about that. It should be much, much harder for people to track you down. My PI charged me for three hours, so I seriously doubt it took him more than one."

Saul: "'Cause he gave me the dead mackerel eyes. He meant it."
Walter: "Saul, Mike threatened me. He threatened Jesse. He probably threatened someone before breakfast this morning. It's what he does. Come on, grow a pair!"

Walter: "First order of business is to find a new place to cook. Before anyone says it, no more RVs."
Jesse: "I don’t know, the Crystal Ship did pretty good for us."
Walter: "The Crystal Ship?"
Jesse: "Yeah, that's what I called it."

Now I don’t know what kind of movies you’ve been watching, but even in the real world, we don’t kill 11 people as some kind of prophylactic measure.

Yeah B-tch, Magnets!

Jesse: "What's the point of being an outlaw if I gotta have responsibilities?"
Badger: "Darth Vadar had responsibilities- building the Death Star."
Skinny Pete: "True Dat! Two of 'em, yo!"

Can you walk? Then get the f-ck outta here and never come back.

Last I asked for your help, you said, "I hope you end up buried in a barrel in the Mexican desert."

Skyler, I have lived under the threat of death for a year now, and because of that, I've made choices. I alone should suffer the consequences of those choices, no one else. And those consequences... they're coming. No more prolonging the inevitable.

I’m a blowfish! BLOWFISH! Yeeeah blowfishing this up!

This my own private domicile, and I will not be harassed… b-tch!

If this is supposed to be all, like, Major League and all, we should have equipment maintainer guys. And water boys, you know? "Yo! Gatorade me, b-tch!"

Yeah, Mr. White! Yeah science!

I pay my rent, b-tch! I got civil rights!

You are a wealthy man now. One must learn to be rich. To be poor, anyone can manage

What did you do? Show your barber a picture of a dog's ass and said, "I'll take that"?

If your guys had his meeting at KFC you wouldn't immediately assume he's sitting down with Colonel Sanders.

If a mosquito is buzzing around you and it bites you on the ass, you don't go gunning for the attorney. You go grab a fly swatter.

How come you guys always give air freshener. I explicitly say, "no air freshener". And every time, I drive away smelling like an Alpine whorehouse.

Aw, that was so sweet, I think I threw up in my mouth a bit.

Why should we do anything more than once? Should I just smoke this one cigarette? Maybe we should only have sex once, if it's the same thing. Should we just watch one sunset? Or live just one day? It's new every time. Each time is a different experience.

Sometimes you get fixated on something and you might not even get why. You open yourself up and go with the flow, wherever the universe takes you.

If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once convinced a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked, cecause I believed it!

Did the academy hire you right out of the womb? You guys get younger and younger every year. We have laws, detective, have your kindergarten teacher read them to you.

Clearly his taste in women is the same as his taste in lawyers: Only the very best... with just a right amount of dirty!

If you wanna stay a criminal and not become, say, a convict, maybe you should grow up and listen to your lawyer.

You're now the cute on of the group. Paul, meet Ringo. Ringo, Paul.

Walter: "I have made a series of very bad decisions and I cannot make another one."
Gus: "Why did you make these decisions?"
Walter: "For the good of my family."
Gus: "Then they weren't bad decisions. A man provides for his family."

That's your brain working at maximum capactity?

Kaylee: "I think Jupiter is my favorite. Did you know it's the largest planet in our solar system? It's called the gas giant."
Mike: "Uh, that's not very nice."
Kaylee: "Pop-Pop, it's not that kind of gas."
Mike: "Oh, my mistake."

Is this just a genetic thing with you? Is it congenital? Did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby?

Smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos and masturbating do not constitute "plans" in my book.

I wouldn't trust these two to break into the Special Olympics.

Well, sometimes forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest, doesn't it?

Respect, ése, you gotta give it to get it.

That crystal that your partner brought me... it sold faster than ten-dollar ass in TJ.