Quotes from Breaking Bad

Everyone sounds like Meryl Streep with a gun to their head.

Chemistry is the study of matter, but I prefer to see it as the study of change.

So you’re chasing around a fly and in your world I’m the idiot?

It's nothing personal Walt, but you wouldn’t know a criminal if he was close enough to check you for a hernia.

The next time you bring a gun to a job without telling me, I will stick it up your ass sideways.

I’m the Danger!

What I came to realize is that fear, that's the worst enemy. So, get up, get out in the real world and you kick that bastard as hard as you can right in the teeth.

We had a good thing, you stupid son of a bitch! We had Fring, we had a lab, we had everything we needed, and it all ran like clockwork! You could have shut your mouth, cooked, and made as much money as you ever needed! It was perfect! But no! You just had to blow it up! You, and your pride and your ego! You just had to be the man! If you’d known your place, we’d all be fine right now!

Good to meet you. Don't drink and drive! But if you do, call me!

You think I came all this way, just to let something as silly as lung-cancer take me down? Not a chance!

Walter White: 'Jesus, Jesse did that?'
Saul Goodman: 'Yeah, but you gotta understand... deep down, he loves me.'

Saul Goodman: 'How about Florida? You get a tan, meet the Swedish bikini team, you know, swim with the dolphins.'
Jesse Pinkman: 'What about... Alaska?'
Saul Goodman: 'Alaska, okay. Well, that's a different vibe. I never figured you for a big moose lover, but whatever floats your boat.'

If you don’t know who I am... then maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.

I'm a dying man who runs a car-wash. My right hand to God... that is all that I am.

You need to stop focusing on the darkness behind you. The past is the past, nothing can change what we've done.

Saul: '...cause he gave me the dead mackerel eyes. he meant it.'
Walter: 'Saul, Mike threatened me. He threatened Jesse. He probably threatened someone before breakfast this morning. It’s what he does. Come on, grow a pair!'

When we do what we do for good reasons, then we’ve got nothing to worry about. And there’s no better reason... than family.

Walter: 'First order of business is to find a new place to cook. Before anyone says it, no more RVs.'
Jesse: 'I don’t know, the Crystal Ship did pretty good for us.'
Walter: 'The Crystal Ship?'
Jesse: 'Yeah, that's what I called it.'

Now I don’t know what kind of movies you’ve been watching, but even in the real world, we don’t kill 11 people as some kind of prophylactic measure.

You are trouble. I’m sorry the kid here doesn’t see it, but I sure as hell do. You are a time bomb. Tick tick ticking. And I have no intention for being around for the boom.

Well, you know how they say, 'It’s been a pleasure’?' It hasn’t.

Yeah Bitch, Magnets!

We're Done When I Say We're Done!

Jesse: 'What's the point of being an outlaw if I gotta have responsibilities?'
Badger: 'Darth Vadar had responsibilities- building the Death Star.'
Skinny Pete 'True Dat! Two of 'em, Yo!'

I won.

Someone needs to protect this family from the man who protects this family.

Big doings today. The order of the day is 'eyes open, mouth shut.'

What if this is like math? Or algebra? You know, you add a plus douchebag to a minus douchebag, then you get, like, zero douchebags.

Can you walk? Then get the fuck outta here and never come back.

Don Eladio is dead. His capos are dead. You have no one left to fight for. Fill your pockets and leave in peace. Or fight me and die!

Remembering you that way wouldn't be so bad. The bad way would be to remember you the way... the way you've been this whole last year. At least last night you were... you were real

It was an act of God. Ain't no account for no act of God.

Last I asked for your help, you said, 'I hope you end up buried in a barrel in the Mexican desert.'

Skyler, I have lived under the threat of death for a year now, and because of that, I've made choices. I alone should suffer the consequences of those choices, no one else. And those consequences... they're coming. No more prolonging the inevitable.

All I know is when he tells me your employer took him out in the desert and threatened to murder his entire family, I sat up and took notice. Because, hey, what am I if not family?

Kuby: 'I'll tell you, what this is about Mr. Beneke. This is about you and me doing our best to keep Huell happy'
Ted: 'Huell? Who is Huell'?
Kuby: 'This is Huell. Huell, you happy?'
Huell: 'Reasonably.'
Kuby: 'What would make you unhappy?'
Huell: 'Diz lil mofo nut doin' what he's tol'(This little mofo is not doing what he is told)'
Kuby: 'And would you become unhappy, Mr. Beneke wouldn't care for that'
Huell: 'I'm gonna say No.'
Kuby: 'There you have it. Let's go find the checkbook.'

Jesse: 'Tell this asshole if he wants to learn how to make my product, he's got to do it my way, the right way.'
Mexican Cook: 'I speak English.'
Jesse: 'So you understand what asshole means. Now, go get me my phenylacetic acid, asshole.'

You know what is okay to put in hot dogs? Huh? Pig lips and assholes. But I say, hey, have at it bitches ’cause I love hot dogs.

What’s the point of being an outlaw when you got responsibilities?

You’re the one that looks like you just crawled out of a microwave.

I’m a blowfish! BLOWFISH! Yeeeah blowfishing this up!

This my own private domicile, and I will not be harassed… bitch!

Gatorade me bitch!

Possum. Big, freaky, lookin’ bitch. Since when did they change it to opossum? When I was comin’ up it was just possum. Opossum makes it sound like he’s irish or something. Why do they gotta go changing everything?

Walt: 'What one particular element comes to mind hm?!'
Jesse: 'Aaaaaah a wire!'

Jesse: 'Yo, I get I shouldn’t call, but I’m in a situation over here, and I need my money.'
Walter: 'I just gave you $600.'
Jesse: 'Yeah, and thanks, Daddy Warbucks, but that was before my housing situation went completely testicular on me, okay?'

Walt: 'So why you selling it in such small quantities? Why don’t you just sell the whole pound at once?'
Jesse: 'To who? What do I look like? Scarface?'
Walt: 'This is unacceptable. I am breaking the law here. This return is too little for the risk. I thought you’d be ready for another pound today.'
Jesse: 'You may know a lot about chemistry man but you don’t know jack about slangin’ dope.'

Jesse: 'Whoa whoa. No, this is not my fault, alright? The buzzer didn’t buzz.'
Walter: 'The WHAT?'
Jesse: 'The buzzer! The buzzer that buzzes when you put the keys in. To like let you know that the battery’s on. I know that! It didn’t buzz. Look, I didn’t turn the key or anything, alright? I’m not stupid. Did you hear the buzzer buzz? I did not… It’s faulty, it’s a faulty mechanism.'

Look, Skylar, I just haven’t quite been myself lately. I haven’t been myself lately, but I love you. Nothing about that has changed, and nothing ever will. So right now, what I need is for you to climb down out of my ass. Can you do that? Will you do that for me, honey? Will you please, just once, get off my ass. You know, I’d appreciate it. I really would.

Wipe down this!