The best Quotes from Borat

14 year ago I release moviefilm which brought great shame to Kasachstan. But now I was instruct to return to Yankeeland to carry out secret mission. I go to America!

My country send me to United States to make movie-film. Please, come and see my film. If it not success, I will be execute.

I want to have a car that attract a woman with shave down below.

I arrived in America's airport with clothings, US dollars, and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS.

Borat: "My wife make this cheese."
Bob Barr: "It's very nice."
Borat: "She make it from milk from her t*ts."

Mike Jared: "I'm, er... recently retired."
Borat: "You are a retard?"

Democracy is different in America. For example, women can vote but horse can not.

Although Kazakhstan a glorious country, it have a problem too: economic, social and Jew.

Kazakhstan is the greatest country in the world; all other countries are run by little girls.

He is my neighbor Nursultan Tuliagby. He is pain in my a-sholes. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock radio, he cannot afford. Great success!

Wazzup with it, vanilla face? Me and my homie Azamat parked our slab outside. We're looking for somewhere to post up our black asses for the night, so bang-bang, skeet-skeet, n*gga. We just a couple of pimps, no hoes.

This is my country of Kazakhstan. It locate between Tajikistan, and Kyrgyzstan, and a-sholes Uzbekistan.

You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?

You let women in cinemas here? In my country, we have a pen outside for the animals and womens.

I can hit a gypsy with a rock from 15 meters away if chained... ten if not.

I say this because I had a very bad gypsy attack... they stole my wife, plow... and they touch my horse in a very bad way... he got very depressed.

The only thing keeping me going was my dream of one day holding Pamela in my arms and making romance explosion on her stomach.

Your cells age at half the rate of a normal human. When you're 40, you'll still have the leucocytes of a teenager.

I will escape for every innocent woman whose life was stolen.

Elodie, you join a long line of women who have helped to build this kingdom. It is this sacrifice we commemorate every generation. A tradition going back centuries. A legacy of honor and duty you now inherit.

I need you to listen to me now. I don't trust them. They may be royalty, but that doesn't make them good people.

Nothing of value is free. Even the breath of life is purchased at birth only through gasping effort and pain. The best things in life are beyond money; their price is agony and sweat and devotion... and the price demanded for the most precious of all things in life is life itself - ultimate cost for perfect value.

Dizzy: "My mother always told me that violence doesn't solve anything."
Jean Rasczak: "Really? I wonder what the city founders of Hiroshima would have to say about that."
Carmen: "They wouldn't say anything. Hiroshima was destroyed."
Jean Rasczak: "Correct. Naked force has resolved more conflicts throughout history than any other factor. The contrary opinion, that violence doesn't solve anything, is wishful thinking at its worst. People who forget that always die."

I need a corporal. You're it, until you're dead or I find someone better.

Someone asked me once if I knew the difference between a civilian and a citizen. I know now. A citizen has the courage to make the safety of the human race their personal responsibility. Dizzy was my friend. She was a soldier. But most important, she was a citizen of the Federation.

This is for all you new people. I have only one rule. Everybody fights, no one quits. If you don't do your job, I'll kill you myself! Welcome to the Roughnecks!

Funny how they always want to be friends after they rip your guts out.

They sucked his brains out.

Your little cinematic universe is about to change forever. I'm the Messiah. I am Marvel Jesus!

Paradox: "Mr. Wilson. You have appeared to have soiled yourself while unconscious."
Wade Wilson: "I wasn't unconscious. Who are you?"

Is that supposed to be scary? Pegging isn't new for me, friendo, but it is for Disney.

It's funny, isn't it, though. I mean, we evolved out of the water, and some part of our reptilian brain knows we're not supposed to be there anymore. But... I guess that's why we try to tame it so hard. It's like trying to conquer death.

I used to be scared of pools.

The pool is fine. The pool is the greatest thing that has happened to me.

Everything you fear is under the surface.

Student: "Nice wig, Janis. What's it made of?"
Janis: "Your mom's chest hair!"

Gretchen, I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles. And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it. And I'm sorry for repeating it now.

At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die.

Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.

I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.

Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total sl*t and no other girls can say anything about it.

I love her. She's like a Martian!

Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, okay, promise? Okay... now everybody take some rubbers.

Get in loser, we're going shopping.

And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.

Cady: "Yeah, I like math."
Damian: "Eww. Why?"
Cady: "Because it's the same in every country."

Gretchen: "That is so fetch!"
Regina: "Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!"

Karen: "If you're from Africa, why are you white?"
Gretchen: "Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white."

Rafe: "You are so beautiful it hurts."
Evelyn: "It's your nose that hurts."
Rafe: "I think it's my heart."

That's what I want to come home to, that's what I want to have to think about and dream about. I wanna know that the best part of my life is still ahead of me.