Quotes and Sayings about Boobs

Hey, if you got a second - stop staring at my boobs!

Back boobs! The visual stimulation of missionary meets the emotional detachment of doggy style... patent pending.

My metabolism is all messed up. See, I can moose down a pint of fudge ripple for a midnight snack and wake up having lost weight. Well, everywhere except for my boobs. So annoying.

So you're pregnant? Huh, looks like nobody told your boobs.

Barney: "I cannot stop staring at that girl's face."
Ted: "Face, huh? That's your weirdest nickname for boobs yet."

A study shows breast implants can cause nausea and dizziness... from all the free drinks.

Summer: "Did you just look at my boobs? You should look at my face."
Matt: "I'm trying but it's so close to your boobs."

Boobs give us many useful things. Boobs give us milk, cheese... breasts nourish our young until the age where we can go out and hunt for them.

Just a little life-hack for women: If you don't want men to stare at your breasts - eat a banana!

Sal: "Does Lily have any other plates? I don't let Sammy eat off this plastic."
Pepper: "How does she breastfeed him if she doesn't let him near plastic?"

Being a billionaire, when you walk into a room, it's like being a woman with a perfect set of t*ts.

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.

Ross: "It's just that I don't think breast milk is for adults."
Chandler: "Although, the packaging does appeal to adults and kids alike."

Evan: "I heard she got breast reduction surgery."
Seth: "What? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift."

Stella: "Ted, you're staring at my breasts."
Ted: "In fairness... they were staring at me."

Barney: "I met a girl last night. So perky and full of life and not at all fake."
Ted: "You're talking about her boobs, right?"
Barney: "Si. And that wasn't Spanish, that was cup size. What up?!"

Where some choose to look at this bra half-empty, I choose to look at this bra half-full.

Ted, your throwing your life away. This girl is blinding you with her shiny hair and her boob-shaped boobs!

Barney: "Or it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter. Even better. Triple-threat: hotter and bigger boobs."
Ted: "That's only two?"
Barney: "Count again!"

There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: breast implants.

Breast-feeding... hot!
When those things swell up to three times their normal size, so do I.

It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

If you're looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it's love!

Barney: "Our wedding is gonna be legendary."
Robin: "No wait for it?"
Barney: "I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore."

Kids, you can't cling to the past. Because no matter how tight you hold on... it's already gone.

Underneath all of those lies is one true thing. One true thing that can support the weight of all the lies in the world, and that's the fact that I love you.

You should never trust a woman who just had her heart broken. We tend to lie.

When a woman quits on a man, she either got enough of him or she didn't get enough from him.

A jealous female can be tricked into everything.

The most beautiful clothes that can dress a woman are the arms of the man she loves. But for those who haven't had the fortune of finding this happiness, I am there.

A woman can be gorgeous at 19, charmimg at 29, but only at 39 she is irresistible for the rest of her life. And no woman that has been irresistible, ever turns older than 39.

If you want more sex, just ask for it.

Sheldon: "You do understand that our efforts here will in no way increase the odds of having sexual congress with this woman?"
Leonard: "Men do things for women without expecting sex."
Sheldon: "Those would be men who just had sex."

Don't do drugs, don't have unprotected sex, don't be violent... leave that to me.

Caus' you see, for me, sex is a sport, like racquetball. Play hard for half an hour, work up a sweat and hope you don't get hit in the eye.

You can't ruin a friendship with sex. That's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story.

This woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to, and there have been times that I wanted to.
It has been overwhelming and humbling and even painful at times, but I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing.

Barney: "Ted what is my one rule?"
Ted: "You can tell how old a girl is by her elbows?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Flax seed relieves upset stomach?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Always have a fake pair of concert tickets in your pocket in case Lily invites you to something stupid?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Labanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there."
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "New is always better?"
Barney: "New is always better!"

Ted: "My mother is not one-night-stand material!"
Barney: "Yeah, you're right. It wasn't night and we weren't standing."

Nobody likes to be alone, especially after a breakup. But that's when we discover who we really are and what we really want.

Twitter is stupid and Instagram is Twitter for people who can't read.

Do you think we can convince them that slapping each other's face is the new high five?

Well, maybe this isn't a breakup. Maybe this is two friends getting back together.

A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

Mitch: "We've got a dead body on our beach."
Matt: "That's not our job."
Mitch: "My gut says there's some bad shit going on over there and my balls say we need to check it out."
Matt: "My balls say, 'let's just take it easy right here'."
Mitch: "What? Your balls sound like three-year-old girls."
Matt: "I don't know, man. That's just how they talk. But they're wise."

Birdie Jay: "I didn't even know that that word referred to Jewish people. I thought it was a generic term for 'cheap'."
Peg: "'Jewy'?"

The good news is, Luke has his bike.
More good news, I taught some random kid a valuable lesson by stealing his bike.