Hey, if you got a second - stop staring at my boobs!
Max Black in 2 Broke Girls, Season 1 Episode 1Back boobs! The visual stimulation of missionary meets the emotional detachment of doggy style... patent pending.
Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother, Season 7 Episode 20My metabolism is all messed up. See, I can moose down a pint of fudge ripple for a midnight snack and wake up having lost weight. Well, everywhere except for my boobs. So annoying.
Robin Scherbatsky in How I Met Your Mother, Season 9 Episode 4So you're pregnant? Huh, looks like nobody told your boobs.
Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother, Season 7 Episode 12Barney: "I cannot stop staring at that girl's face."
Ted: "Face, huh? That's your weirdest nickname for boobs yet."
Just a little life-hack for women: If you don't want men to stare at your breasts - eat a banana!
UnknownSal: "Does Lily have any other plates? I don't let Sammy eat off this plastic."
Pepper: "How does she breastfeed him if she doesn't let him near plastic?"
Being a billionaire, when you walk into a room, it's like being a woman with a perfect set of tits.
BillionairesBobby Axelrod in Billions, Season 1 Episode 1Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Men & WomenRita RudnerRoss: "It's just that I don't think breast milk is for adults."
Chandler: "Although, the packaging does appeal to adults and kids alike."
Evan: "I heard she got breast reduction surgery."
Seth: "What? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift."
Stella: "Ted, you're staring at my breasts."
Ted: "In fairness... they were staring at me."
Barney: "I met a girl last night. So perky and full of life and not at all fake."
Ted: "You're talking about her boobs, right?"
Barney: "Si. And that wasn't Spanish, that was cup size. What up?!"
Where some choose to look at this bra half-empty, I choose to look at this bra half-full.
Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother, Season 3 Episode 1Ted, your throwing your life away. This girl is blinding you with her shiny hair and her boob-shaped boobs!
Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother, Season 2 Episode 18Barney: "Or it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter. Even better. Triple-threat: hotter and bigger boobs."
Ted: "That's only two?"
Barney: "Count again!"
There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated: breast implants.
Barney Stinson in How I Met Your MotherBreast-feeding... hot!
When those things swell up to three times their normal size, so do I.
