The best Quotes from Bob's Burgers

Bob: "Hey, no nagging my customers!"
Linda: "Don't you yell at my mother!"
Bob: "What's that, Nagatha Christie?"

Bob Belcher - Season 1 Episode 2

I don't appreciate your lack of sarcasm.

Louise Belcher - Season 4 Episode 7

Sarcasm

Turns out dad's been putting murdered cows in our hamburgers.

Louise Belcher - Season 1 Episode 3

Cows

Sorry, I'm saving my spit and blood for my honeymoon.

Louise Belcher - Season 1 Episode 10

Kissing is like a fight with lips.

Louise Belcher - Season 1 Episode 6

Kissing

Listen, you're my children and I love you, but you're all terrible at what you do here and I feel like I should tell you. I'd fire all of you if I could.

Bob Belcher - Season 1 Episode 1

We'll test your meat. If it contains human flesh, anything above the four percent allowable by the FDA, then your restaurant will be closed.

Season 1 Episode 1

Bob: "I can't even satisfy you with my kisses. Sorry, kids."
Gene: "No problem. Thanks for the info."

Gene Belcher - Season 1 Episode 1

Bob: "He looks like a child molester. Louise, don't serve him. Let Gene bring it."
Gene: "Why do I have to get molested?"
Bob: "Because he's not gonna molest you."
Gene: "Why?"
Bob: "You're heavy."

Bob Belcher - Season 1 Episode 1

Fat People

Bob: "There's a line between entertaining and annoying."
Gene: "No! That's a myth."

Gene Belcher - Season 1 Episode 1

Tina: "My crotch is itchy."
Bob: "Okay. Are you telling me as my daughter or as my grill cook? Because my grill cook would never tell me that."

Bob Belcher - Season 1 Episode 1

Daughters

Health Inspector: "Is this your parents' place?"
Louise: "Yes, they're down in the bas*ment grinding the meat right now. That's not a euphemism. They're actually grinding the meat."

Louise Belcher - Season 1 Episode 1

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There is no handbook about how a career is going to go.

Gary Cole

Career

I miss everything about Chicago - except January and February.

Gary Cole

Chicago January February

Leonard: "For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to... hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?"
Sheldon: "You have a sarcasm sign?"

Sheldon Cooper in The Big Bang Theory - Season 1 Episode 2

Sarcasm

Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness.

Craig Ferguson

Barbecue Meat Cows

For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything.

Alex Karev in Grey's Anatomy - Season 2 Episode 7

Kissing

Chefkoch: "Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him."
Stan: "Marry him?"
Chefkoch: "It definitely worked for every woman i ever met."

Chef in South Park - Season 6 Episode 2

Fat People

Dear Boys, be the type of guy you want your daughter to be with.

Daughters Father & Daughter

Charlie Brown: "We only live once, Snoopy."
Snoopy: "Wrong! We only die once. We live every day!"

Snoopy in The Peanuts

Positive Quotes

Clever of me to use my spine to break my fall like that.

Darkwing Duck in Darkwing Duck - Season 1 Episode 1

If I wanted the government in my house, I'd buy Alexa.

Rick Sanchez in Rick and Morty - Season 6 Episode 10

Amazon

I love life. Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like... it makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness.

Butters Stotch in South Park - Season 7 Episode 14

Life Breakup Grief & Condolence

What did you do, comb your hair with an eggbeater?

Stella in Winx Club - Season 1 Episode 9

Averell: "I love exotic food! What do you call this delicious crust around the frijoles?"
Espuelas: "It's called a terracotta bowl, amigo."

Averell Dalton in Lucky Luke - Tortillas for the Daltons

Quagmire: "You got to help me. I'm looking for a little boy with red overalls and a yellow shirt."
French Man: "You are looking to buy or to rent?"
Quagmire: "What? No! God! How is Paris considered a classy city?"
French Man: "The buildings are beautiful, the people are trash."

Glenn Quagmire in Family Guy

Paris

The best Quotes from Bob's Burgers

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