The best Quotes by Bob Belcher

Bob: "Hey, no nagging my customers!"
Linda: "Don't you yell at my mother!"
Bob: "What's that, Nagatha Christie?"

Listen, you're my children and I love you, but you're all terrible at what you do here and I feel like I should tell you. I'd fire all of you if I could.

Bob: "He looks like a child molester. Louise, don't serve him. Let Gene bring it."
Gene: "Why do I have to get molested?"
Bob: "Because he's not gonna molest you."
Gene: "Why?"
Bob: "You're heavy."

Tina: "My crotch is itchy."
Bob: "Okay. Are you telling me as my daughter or as my grill cook? Because my grill cook would never tell me that."

I don't appreciate your lack of sarcasm.

Turns out dad's been putting murdered cows in our hamburgers.

Sorry, I'm saving my spit and blood for my honeymoon.

Kissing is like a fight with lips.

We'll test your meat. If it contains human flesh, anything above the four percent allowable by the FDA, then your restaurant will be closed.

Bob: "I can't even satisfy you with my kisses. Sorry, kids."
Gene: "No problem. Thanks for the info."

Bob: "There's a line between entertaining and annoying."
Gene: "No! That's a myth."

Health Inspector: "Is this your parents' place?"
Louise: "Yes, they're down in the bas*ment grinding the meat right now. That's not a euphemism. They're actually grinding the meat."

Chefkoch: "Well, if you want him to get really fat as fast as possible, one of you will have to marry him."
Stan: "Marry him?"
Chefkoch: "It definitely worked for every woman i ever met."

If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.

"Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin."
"Still half true."

Robin: "I'm pregnant."
Barney: "Are you sure you're not just getting fat?"

Dear Boys, be the type of guy you want your daughter to be with.

Chicago, lock up your daughters! Mt. Urkel is about to erupt.

Did you know, Yeon-jin, that your daughter likes to look at the world upside-down? Maybe people can still understand because in some way, the whole world is always upside-down.

There are times when I would rather face the Black Dread himself than mine own daughter of 15.

Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"