The best Black Friday Quotes and Jokes 2025

Holidays Autumn & Fall Shopping

The best Black Friday Quotes and Jokes 2025

Black Friday - a whirlwind of consumption and deals, but behind it lies the yearning for happiness and fulfillment. In the pursuit of bargains, we sometimes forget what truly matters. Let's pause, remember the significance of togetherness, and gift each other with love and kindness. For true treasures are not in shopping bags but in our hearts.

Bought a new vacuum on Black Friday. It sucks!

Black Friday is a scam. You should be mad they overcharge you 364 days a year!

Black Friday: The day where people spend money they don't have for things they don't need.

Black Friday! Save 100% on everything - by not buying anything.

Black Friday? When I'm looking for crap again, I can just aswell re-install Tinder.

You may have heard of Black Friday and Cyber Monday. There's another day you might want to know about: Giving Tuesday. The idea is pretty straightforward. On the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, shoppers take a break from their gift-buying and donate what they can to charity.

Cyber Monday. Black Friday. Broke Tuesday.

What do Black Friday shoppers and Thanksgiving Turkeys have in common?
Both know how it feels to be stuffed and cramped in narrow spaces.

Thanksgiving Turkeys

As Black Friday dawns, the shopping cart transforms into a racing car, and the wallet becomes a marathon runner. Discounts are haggled over like at an oriental bazaar. It's a dance of wallets, a carnival of consumption. May the bargain hunt make us as fit as our daily workouts!

In the depths of the retail storm, where discounts fall like shooting stars, may wisdom shine. Black Friday, a temple of consumption, calls for discernment in dealing with desires. Not in abundance but in sobriety, true abundance is found. Let each one examine what is truly of value.

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There is a time in the last few days of summer when the ripeness of autumn fills the air.

Rudolfo Anaya

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Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns.

George Eliot

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By all these lovely tokens September days are here, With summer's best of weather and autumn's best of cheer.

Helen Hunt Jackson

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Autumn & Fall September

Aprils have never meant much to me, autumns seem that season of beginning.

Truman Capote in Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Two sounds of autumn are unmistakable. The hurrying rustle of crisp leaves blown along the street by a gusty wind, and the gabble of a flock of migrating geese.

Hal Borland

Autmn is spring time in reverse.

Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.

F. Scott Fitzgerald in The Great Gatsby

The trees are in their autumn beauty,
The woodland paths are dry,
Under the October twilight the water
Mirrors a still sky.

William Butler Yeats

Autumn & Fall October

Autumn seemed to arrive suddenly that year. The morning of the first September was crisp and golden as an apple.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Autumn & Fall September

Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale.

Lauren DeStefano in Chemical Garden - Wither

I cannot endure to waste anything so precious as autumnal sunshine by staying in the house.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Change is a measure of time and, in the autumn, time seems speeded up. What was is not and never again will be; what is is change.

Edwin Way Teale

Autumn & Fall Change

There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!

Percy Bysshe Shelley

I like my money where I can see it - hanging in my closet!

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City

11

Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shows can change your life.

2

Cinderella Shoes Shopping

Phoebe: "It's not mine, I didn't earn it. If i kept it, it would be like stealing."
Rachel: "Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping."

Rachel Green in Friends - Season 1 Episode 3

1

Sweetie, I just spent $395 on a pair of open-toed Gucci's last week. This is not the place to be frugal.

Carrie Bradshaw in Sex And The City - Season 1 Episode 10

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Shoes Shopping Gucci

We can't do anything to change the world until capitalism crumbles. In the meantime we should all go shopping to console ourselves.

Banksy in Wall and Piece

Capitalism Shopping

Good clothing is a passport for happiness.

Yves Saint Laurent

Shopping Fashion

Men go shopping to buy what they need. Women go shopping to find out what they want.

Shopping Men & Women

Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells.

Jean Paul Getty

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.

Gertrude Stein

I shop, therefore I am.

Tammy Faye Bakker

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist.

Tammy Faye Bakker

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.

Marcelene Cox

Occasionally I go shopping for clothes, but I find the whole thing a real chore.

Catherine McCormack

Thanksgiving is almost here and as soon as people realize how much money they have to spend on holiday gifts, their wallets snap tighter than Kim Kardashian's legs after the wedding check cleared.

Max Black in 2 Broke Girls - Season 1 Episode 10

2

Kim Kardashian Thanksgiving

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

Craig Ferguson

1

American Football Thanksgiving

I hate cleaning up around here. What's the point? It's just gonna get dirty again.

Buttercup in The Powerpuff Girls

2

If you wanna spend money to have a shitty night, just go on a Tinder date: "Oh, wow. That's so interesting. I've never met anyone who likes to travel before."

Ronny Chieng in The Daily Show

Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces people into thinking they can't lose.

2

Baldrick, I want you to take this and go out and buy a turkey so large, you'd think its mother had been rogered by an omnibus.

Edmund Blackadder in Blackadder

After the Lord Jesus had spoken to them, he was taken up into heaven and he sat at the right hand of God.

Mark - 16, 19

Ascension of Jesus

Only the dead have seen the end of war.

George Santayana

1

War Memorial Day Volkstrauertag

When the time for Pentecost was fulfilled, they were all in one place together. And suddenly there came from the sky a noise like a strong driving wind, and it filled the entire house in which they were. Then there appeared to them tongues as of fire, which parted and came to rest on each one of them. And they were all filled with the holy Spirit and began to speak in different tongues, as the Spirit enabled them to proclaim.

Acts of the Apostles - 2, 1-4

For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes.

I Corinthians - 11, 26

Corpus Christi Day

My aim remains, if history approves, to unite our country.

Helmut Kohl

Halloween. The one day of the year it's socially acceptable to play dress-up. The only question is, who do you want to be? There are costumes to make men feel like boys again. Or turn little girls into queens.

Gossip Girl in Gossip Girl - Season 3

3

For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity.

William Penn

Death Allerheiligen Volkstrauertag

The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.

Gilbert Keith Chesterton

War Veterans Day Fighting

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