Quotes by Bill Maher

Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

Religion is dangerous because it allows human beings who don't have all the answers to think that they do.

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."

The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that's the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.