"When your wives suggested couple's therapy, do you think that this is what they had in mind?"
"Definitely! I mean, we're a couple of couples, right?"
We've spent our whole life trying to write the song that will unite the world. Why can't we just go to the future when we have written it?Bill & Ted - Bill & Ted Face the Music, by Ted
Bill: "Be excellent to each other..."
Ted: "...and party on, dudes!"
The best place to be is here. The best time to be is now. And all's we can say is... let's rock!Bill & Ted - Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, by Bill & Ted
Be excellent to each other!Bill & Ted - Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, by Bill
"The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing."
"That’s us, dude!"
Colonel Oates: "Get down and give me infinity."
Dead Bill: "There is no way we could possibly do infinity push-ups."
Dead Ted: "Well maybe if he lets us do them girly-style."
You might be a king or a little street sweeper, but sooner or later you dance with the reaper.Death, KingsBill & Ted - Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, by Grim Reaper
"If you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of?"
Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K.Bill & Ted - Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, by Ted
It seems to me the only thing you've learned is that Caesar is a "salad dressing dude".Bill & Ted
Bill: "If I die, you can have my Megadeth collection."
Ted: "But dude, we are already dead."
Bill: "Oh. Well then they're yours, dude."
Bill: "It is indeed a pleasure to introduce to you a gentleman we picked up in medieval Mongolia in the year 1269."
Ted: "Please welcome the very excellent barbarian..."
Bill & Ted: "Mr. Genghis Khan!"
Ted: "This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China, and who, we were told, 2 hours ago, totally ravaged Oshman's Sporting Goods."
Hi. Welcome to the future: San Dimas, California — 2688. And I'm telling you, it's great here. The air is clean. The water is clean. Even the dirt is clean! Bowling averages are way up. Mini-golf scores are way down, and we have more excellent water slides than any other planet we communicate with. I'm telling you, this place is great, but it almost wasn't. You see, seven hundred years ago, the Two Great Ones ran into a few problems. So now I have to travel back in time to help them out. If I should fail to keep these two along the correct path, the basis of our society will be endangered. Ah, but don't worry: it'll all make sense. I'm a professional.Bill & Ted - Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, by Rufus