Quotes from Better Call Saul

Eighty-six years. But with good behavior... who knows?

If you don't like where you're heading, there's no shame in going back and changing your path.

I wasn't there when the meth was cooked. I wasn't there when it was sold. I didn't witness any of the murders, but I damn well knew what was happening. I was more than a willing participant. I was indispensable. I kept Walter White out of Jail. I laundered his money. I lied for him. I conspired with him and I made millions.

Saul: "I could've sunk my teeth into this."
Walter: "You'd have been the last lawyer I'd have gone to."

Quantum mechanics? We're discussing that now? Stay in your lane! You are not talking about a time machine, which is both a real and theoretical impossibility. You are talking about regrets. So if you want to ask about regrets, just ask about regrets and leave all this time-traveling nonsense out of it!

During incarceration, defendant Goodman to receive one pint Blue Bell mint chocolate chip ice cream every Friday for the duration.

Jesse: "This guy [Saul Goodman], any good?"
Kim: "When I knew him, he was."

I'm still out here. Still getting away with it. Feds couldn't find their own ass with both hands and a proctologist.

So a guy with cancer can't be an asshole?? Believe me, I speak from experience.

Saul: "You see an amateur, I see 170 pounds of clay ready to be molded."
Mike: "If the cancer doesn't get him, it'll be the cops or a bullet to the head."

Saul: "This Heisenberg guy has got something. It's top-of-the-line product. That's the buzz on the street."
Mike: "Years ago, I bought a Betamax, good product, top of the line. Experts said it was better than a VHS. Turned out to be a complete waste of time and money."

I got more second-story guys in my book than pimples at a junior prom.

At least I know they didn't spot you. No one could stay that aroused with your mug peeking through the window.

Jesse: "You should've just let me drive, yo."
Walter: "Look, nothing would be different in this moment, except you panicking and flooding the engine."
Saul: "Fellas, I was enjoying the Laurel and Hardy vibe, but I'm not such a fan of the Bickersons."

Look at this setup! What, you two drive around like Mister Softee, and scooping out drugs for all the good boys and girls?

Saul: "What the hell is this? It's like James Whale's traveling roadshow in here."
Jesse: "Whoever the hell that is. But the Crystal Ship definitely travels."

Crazy? I'll tell you what's crazy. 50-year-old high school chemistry teacher comes into my office. The guy is so broke, he can't pay his own mortgage. One year later, he's got a pile of cash as big as a Volkswagen.

Let justice be done though the heavens fall.

Screw the FCC! I'll go to the mat with those pencil-pushers! This is textbook freedom of speech. What could be more American than that?

Listen, you have a choice, okay? You can pay up now or bleed to death in court.

Jimmy: "I love you."
Kim: "Ich love you too. But so what?"

Apart, we're okay. But together we're poison.

Mike: "Their day is coming. There will be justice."
Manuel Varga: "What you talk about is not justice. What you talk of is revenge. It never ends."

Don Eladio, look into Fring's eyes. There you will see the truth. The Chicken Man hates you. He is our enemy. He plots against us. I demand blood for blood.

Gustavo. When I looked into your eyes... hate. A little bit's okay. As long as you never forget who's boss.

I'd invite you to stay as well, Gustavo, but I don't want my breakfast ruined by all the "ding, ding ding."

One day, we'll wake up, and brush our teeth, and go to work. And at some point, we'll suddenly realize that we haven't thought about it at all. None of it. And that's when we'll know. We'll know we can forget.

What Colonel Sanders is to chicken, Saul Goodman is to the law.

New Mexico. It's another state. I mean, it's like California, just less traffic.

Jimmy: "That's a lot of big talk, Bill. Prove it!"
Bill: "There's proving and there's knowing."

Anyone who goes after him is gonna have to come through me.

Jimmy: "That's a bit direct."
Kim: "I think the word you're looking for is 'audacious'."

You think you've lost everything? You have no idea!

Alvarez has been paying me for years. But you know what? I would have done it for free, because I hate every last one of you psycho sacks of sh-t! I opened Lalo's gate and I would do it again. And I'm glad what they did to him. He's a soulless pig. I wish I'd killed him with my own hands. And you know what else, Hector? I put you in that chair. Your heart meds? I switched them for sugar pills. You were dead and buried, and I had to watch this as-hole bring you back. So when you are sitting in your sh-tty nursing home, and you're sucking down on your Jell-O night after night for the rest of your life, you think of me, you twisted f-ck!

Whatever happens next, it's not gonna go down the way you think it is.

Let them keep believing I'm dead. So much the better. It was the chicken man. That coward sat up there in the north while his paramilitaries came into my home.

I already told you what you can do with your money. You seem like a guy who can take a hint, so what are we doing?

Betsy Kettleman: "No, Craig. He's got an angle."
Jimmy McGill: "I do have an angle, Craig. It's an angle called justice."

If you don't trust your men with your money, you have bigger problems than if you trust Saul Goodman.

Jimmy: "Hey, did you hear all that?"
Mike: "I heard enough to know she saved your a-s."

I get my best ideas when everybody else is asleep.

We all make our choices and those choices they put us on a road. And sometimes those choices seem small but they put you on the road. You think about getting off but eventually, you're back on it.

Here's what's gonna happen. One day you're gonna wake up, eat your breakfast, brush your teeth, go about your business. And sooner or later, you're gonna realize you haven't thought about it. None of it. And that's the moment you realize you can forget. When you know that's possible, it all gets easier.

I have people waiting for me. They don't know what I do, they never will. They're protected. But I do what I do so they can have a better life. And if I live or if I die, it really doesn't make a difference to me as long as they have what they need. So when it's my time to go, I will go knowing I did everything I could for them. Now, you ask me how I keep going? That's how.

A dog who bites every owner he's had can only be disciplined with a firm hand. Or put down.

Saul Goodman is the last line of defense for the little guy. Are you getting sold down the river? He's a life raft. You getting stepped on? He's a sharp stick. You got Goliath on your back - Saul's the guy with the slingshot. He's the righter of wrongs. He's friend to the friendless.

The only way that entire car is worth 500 bucks, is if there's a $300 hook-r sitting in it.

I'm just here to lend a helping hand, you know, make sure the business is running in order. I got a good head for numbers. But listen, don't even worry. It's gonna be like I'm not even here.

The less talk, the better.

I’ve known good criminals and bad cops. Bad priests, honorable thieves. You can be on one side of the law or the other. But if you make a deal with somebody, you keep your word. You can go home today with your money and never do this again. But you took something that wasn’t yours. And you sold it for a profit. You’re now a criminal. Good one, bad one? That’s up to you.