The best Quotes by Beth Smith

Jerry: "I wanted to ask if it's okay with you if I make myself throw up the cookie."
Beth: "If it makes you feel better and you can do it quietly, yes, but don't hand that advice down to summer."

"Family time ist time well spent." Okay, that's not only empty, it's been disproven.

Jerry: "That was some fantastic chow mein. And before you say that sounded racist, you're gonna ask the waiter how they say it."
Beth: "It's Panda Express, Honey, the waiter's from Portland."

Morty: "Mom, I have a friend coming over. Is that cool?"
Beth: "I told your sister no parties."
Morty: "It's one friend."
Beth: "That's a party to you."

Morty: "You were a teenager when dad got you pregnant!"
Beth: "I was 17. That's at least 26 in boy years."

Jerry: "I wish that shotgun was my p-nis."
Beth: "If it were, you could call me Ernest Hemingway."

Beth: "Do you want homeless people to have homes?"
Jerry: "Yes."
Beth: "Are you gonna build them?"
Jerry: "No."
Beth: "Then what good was the 'yes'?"