Quotes by Bender

This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me.

Why can't she just drink herself happy like a normal person?

Bite my shiny metal a-ss!

Gimme your biggest, strongest, cheapest drink!

You've succeeded in showing me life is worth living, by showing me how bad my funeral will suck.

I hope he didn't die. Unless he left a note naming me his successor, then I hope he did die.

I'm so embarrassed. I wish everybody else was dead.