The best Quotes by Ben Stiller

I'm always willing to endure humiliation on behalf of my characters.

There's an old saying in Hollywood: It's not the length of your film, it's how you use it.

Yeah. But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job.

I don't read the script. The script reads me.

Lazarus: "Took a whole lot of tryin, just to get up that hill, but now we up in the big leagues."
Alpa Chino: "That's the theme songs from The Jeffersons."
Lazarus: "Just 'cause it's a theme song doesn't mean it's not true."

You lied about fighting in the Vietnam War. It's like punching the American flag in the face!

I know who I am! I'm a dude playing the dude, disguised as another dude.

You went full retard man, never go full retard!

It's just corn syrup you guys! Blood flavored... corn syrup.

Man, I don't drop character 'till I done the DVD commentary.

Same thing happened to me when I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot. They found me in an alley in Burbank trying to re-enter the earth's atmosphere in an old refrigerator box.

No wonder the city never sleeps, it's too busy trying to get laid.

There are eight million people in this city. And those teeming masses exist for the sole purpose of lifting the few exceptional people onto their shoulders.

If I can make it there
I'll make it anywhere
It's up to you
New York, New York

Manhattan, for millions of our forefathers, the gateway to hope, opportunity and happiness beyond their wildest dreams. Today, that hope is still alive, it's called "The First Date". On Saturday nights, every restaurant in Lower Manhattan resembles its own little Ellis Island.

I want to wake up in that city
That doesn't sleep
And find I'm king of the hill
Top of the heap

In a city that moves so fast, you get the Sunday paper on Saturday - how did any of us know how much time we had left?

We are New Yorkers. Proud citizens of the greatest city on earth. Thinking big isn't new to us. It is the very foundation of who we are.

Regardless of our differences, this was still New York. A melting pot crammed onto an island, then pushed into a subway car with a rat eating pizza. You're not left or right. You're a New f*cking Yorker and we're in this together.

Do you know how bad that coffee has to be to to be considered a health risk in New York? This is the same city where pizza gets delivered by a rat!

I don't wanna f*ck it up because one of us didn't prepare for the slim possibility of New York City traffic!

I remember Hell's Kitchen when you couldn't walk west of Ninth Avenue without getting knifed. Now it's Chelsea with better gays.

Most people come to New York to be discovered. The rest of us come here to hide.

It's fascinating to see how versatile New York City is. It lends itself to being so many different places!

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up.

One of the weird things about Hollywood is we're all imposters; we're all just glammed up.

I find Hollywood really toxic.

People in Hollywood don't have that much sex, or at least I don't.

It was a Hollywood promise; not worth a damn.

One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other one is me.

What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?
The Wok.