Quote by Barney Stinson (Season 9 Episode 17)

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 17

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Barney: "Our wedding is gonna be legendary."
Robin: "No wait for it?"
Barney: "I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore."

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 1

Love declerations

Underneath all of those lies is one true thing. One true thing that can support the weight of all the lies in the world, and that's the fact that I love you.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 18

Love declerations

When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 2 Episode 1

This woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted to, and there have been times that I wanted to.
It has been overwhelming and humbling and even painful at times, but I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 6

Love Love declerations

Barney: "Ted what is my one rule?"
Ted: "You can tell how old a girl is by her elbows?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Flax seed relieves upset stomach?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Always have a fake pair of concert tickets in your pocket in case Lily invites you to something stupid?"
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "Labanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there."
Barney: "My other one rule."
Ted: "New is always better?"
Barney: "New is always better!"

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 18

Ted: "My mother is not one-night-stand material!"
Barney: "Yeah, you're right. It wasn't night and we weren't standing."

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 14

Seven years ago when Marshall and Lily got engaged Ted saw Robin across a crowded room and I said 'oh yeah you just know she likes it dirty', but Ted really liked her, so we played 'Have You met Ted?' They went to dinner, he walked her home, should have kissed her, didn't - lame.
So he stole the Smurf penis, went back to her place, should have kissed her, didn't - lame.
He threw three parties, they kissed on the roof but decided to be friends - lame.
Then Ted wanted to take Robin to a wedding, she couldn't go, he went alone and met Victoria. Didn't kiss her either - lame.
Not a great closer Ted. Then he finally kissed her, they started dating, she went to Germany. Ted kissed Robin, lost Victoria, Ted did a rain dance, got Robin. Ted and Robin broke up, Robin moved to Brazil came back with a Latin stud.
Ted got jealous, got a tramp stamp, not really relevant to the story I just like mentioning it as much as possible. I hooked up with Robin, Ted and I stopped being friends, Ted got hit by a bus, we made up... Robin and I started dating and I got fat, her hair fell out, we broke up. Robin dated Don, I dated Nora. I cheated on her with Robin, I dumped Nora. Robin dated Kevin but not for long and then I met you and you took my Grandpa's watch, but I fell in love with you anyway and you let me fart in front of you and I asked you to marry me and you said 'yes', so we came over here to meet little Marvin and that's everything. Also I went on the Price Is Right and I won a dune buggy.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 1

Barney: "Let me choose your child's middle name! Because I have thought up the most awesome name of all time."
Marshall: "What's the middle name?"
Barney: "Wait for it."
Marshall: "I'm waiting."
Barney: "Wait for it."
Marshall: "I said I'm waiting."
Barney: "Wait for it."
Marshall: "What's the middle name?"
Barney: "No, the middle name is 'Wait For It'. Let's say his first name is, oh, I don't know, 'Barney'. He'd be Barney 'Wait For It' Eriksen. How awesome is that?"

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 23

Ted: "Barney! I'm allowed to miss them, okay? They're my two best friends."
Barney: "I'm your two best friends!"

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 14

Robin: "I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?"
Barney: "I guess cause you're almost as messed up as I am."

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 10

Seriously. Jesus started the whole 'wait three days'-thing. He waited three days to come back to life. It was perfect! If he had only waited one day, a lot of people wouldn't have even heard that he died. They'd be all, 'Hey Jesus, what up?' and Jesus would probably be like, 'What up? I died yesterday!' and then they'd be all, 'Uh, you look pretty alive to me, dude...' and then Jesus would have to explain how he was resurrected, and how it was a miracle, and then the dude would be like 'Uh okay, whatever you say, bro.'
And he's not gonna come back on a saturday. Everybody's busy, doing chores, workin' the loom, trimmin' their beards. No, he waits the exact right number of days: three! Plus it's sunday, so everyone's in church already, they're all in there 'Oh no, Jesus is dead', then bam! He bursts through the back door, runs up the aisle, everyone's totally psyched, and FYI, that's when he invented the high-five. Three days. We wait three days to call a woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait.... True story!

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 4 Episode 21

Think of me as Yoda - only, instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I'm awesome. I'm your bro. I'm Broda.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 3 Episode 5

Master Yoda Suits

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 24

Love declerations

Canada also helped in two world wars and gave the world Neil Young, William Shatner, Leonard Cohen, Pamela Anderson, one quarter of Barney Stinson, instant mashed potatoes and best of all - you.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 12

William Shatner Leonard Cohen Pamela Anderson Neil Young Canada

Barney: "Fine, we'll just have a nice, tasteful rehearsal dinner. Maybe at a French restaurant, I know just the place."
Robin: "What's the name of the restaurant?"
Barney: "La Sertag."

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 12

I only have one rule. For every three 10's you bang, throw a bone to a 5. They're grateful and hard working and let's face it, sometimes you just want to lay there.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 23

It's nice that they found each other. Sometimes you fall for someone you'd never expect, but that doesn't make it wrong. Doesn't everyone deserve to be happy?

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 10

You know, it's funny. Almost every woman I've ever met was wrong to give me a chance. You're the first woman who's wrong not to.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 18

Neither one of us are gonna say, "Hey, how's it going?" or "Good to see you!"
Because it really will be good to see you.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 8

Airport Security: "How did you get that through the X-Ray machine?"
Barney: "No questions from the audience, please!"

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 24

I have a very large forehead. I have a pronounced skull. Maybe producers think that there is a lot going on up in there.

Neil Patrick Harris

It's good to have a lot of once-in-a-lifetimes in your lifetime. If you get the chance to skydive, go skydiving! If you're offered a part in a weird Shakespeare play in San Diego, slap on some tights and rock out some iambic pentameter.

Neil Patrick Harris

San Diego

I'm excited to be writing a book of the observations and stories of my life.

Neil Patrick Harris

Rather than ignore those who choose to publish their opinions without actually talking to me, I am happy to dispel any rumors or misconceptions and am quite proud to say that I am a very content gay man living my life to the fullest and feel most fortunate to be working with wonderful people in the business I love.

Neil Patrick Harris - People Magazine, 2006

Gossip & Rumors Homosexuality & LGBTQ+

Here's what I can say: When you're young, when you're in elementary school or when you're in highschool, it's important to try and fit in and be accepted and to be part of the average. Everyone does it, that's the way it goes. But let me assure you, if you're getting bullied and you're feeling like you are on the outskirts, that it gets better. Because when you're getting older you find, that people are actually drawn towards individuals with different points of view, who are proud of who they are and who make interesting and different and unique choices for them.

Neil Patrick Harris - about tolerance and bullying

Tolerance High School Bullying

It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 3

Breakup Beginning

If you're looking for the word that means caring for someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want, no matter how much it destroys you, it's love!

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 17

Love

Kids, you can't cling to the past. Because no matter how tight you hold on... it's already gone.

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 23

Memories Past

Nobody likes to be alone, especially after a breakup. But that's when we discover who we really are and what we really want.

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 10

Breakup Solitude & Loneliness Seperation & Breakup

You know how sometimes you'll meet a girl and there'll be that one bewitching little detail that'll make you fall in love with her instantly? You know, a little freckle on the nose, the lilt of her laugh, the way she pronounces a certain word or phrase...

Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 21

Falling in love

Well, maybe this isn't a breakup. Maybe this is two friends getting back together.

Robin Scherbatsky in How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 7

Friendship Relationships

Marshall: "When a woman puts on an engagement ring, it's like when Bilbo Baggins wears the One Ring in The Hobbit."
Robin: "Okay, can you say that again, but not in nerd?"
Marshall: "Sure. Uh, the ring is like the cloak that Harry Potter wears to sneak around Hogwarts."
Robin: "Yeah, I don't speak virgin either."

Robin Scherbatsky in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 14

Bilbo Baggins The Hobbit Nerds Quotes about Harry Potter Quotes about Lord of the Rings

Marshall: "It's kind of a big, professional meeting. You might want to trade out that lollipop for a shirt."
Ted: "Yeah. I'll just give it to one of these kids."
Marshall: "Oh, buddy. You're half naked, you're not a parent to any of these children. Don't offer 'em candy!"

Marshall Eriksen in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 9

Being naked

When you do one good deed, it creates a ripple effect. One good deed leads to another and another.

Marshall Eriksen in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 8

Being nice

Your heart's talking to you, Barney. Do you have the guts to listen to it?

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 18

Lily: "Just give me his name!"
Robin: "Fine. It's Bill Pepper."
Lily: "Kind of a coincidence there happens to be a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table. Any chance you and Bill had a three-way with Fork Napkin?"

Lily Aldrin in How I Met Your Mother - Season 6 Episode 7

Quinn: "In the event of divorce, Miss Garvey shall get full custody of Mr. Stinson's suits."
Barney: "Why? What would you do with them?"
Quinn: "Nothing. I'd just sit around and watch them go out of style."

Quinn Garvey in How I Met Your Mother - Season 8 Episode 2

Suits

If we miss Hawaii because of this, guess who's not doing "The Disappearing Salami" anytime soon?

Quinn Garvey in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 24

Ted: "Robin and I already had our backslide. Last Thanksgiving, not even that long ago."
Stella: "Did you place a large bet against yourself?"

Stella Zinman in How I Met Your Mother - Season 4 Episode 5

Ted: "We can do it against the door. It will be hot. It will be like a three-way: you, me and the door."
Stella: "Yeah, but then it's going to be weird between me and the door tomorrow."

Stella Zinman in How I Met Your Mother - Season 3 Episode 18

Barney: "You avoiding the family too?"
James: "I'm gay, I'm black and I'm getting a divorce. Those walking skeletons are gonna have more questions for me than their pharmacists."

James Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 3

Homosexuality & LGBTQ+Divorce

The Pork Authority is closed. Looks like it's Hand Central Station for you little buddy.

James Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 7

Quote by Barney Stinson (Season 9 Episode 17)

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