Bad Pickup Lines - So cheesy, they're good

You a Transformer? Because if you were, you'd be Optimus Fine.

Girl, you look so good, I would marry your brother just to get in your family.

Girl, yo feet must be tired cause you've been running through my mind all day.

Girl, the way you looking so good, I wish just I could plant you and grow a whole field of ya'll.

Hey baby, I noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to put you on notice that I noticed you too.

I'm thirsty, and guess whose body is 75% water?

You should be called Wifi. Because I'm starting to feel a real connection.

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them.

I'm learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?

Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk past you again?

Is your name winter? Because you'll be coming soon.

Gonna be spending "alentine's Day" alone...
Unless someone is looking to give me the "V".

I have lost my number... can I have yours?

Roses are red. Violets are fine. You be the 6. I’ll be the 9.

Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women.

It's like the riddle of the Sphinx; why are there so many great unmarried women - and no great unmarried men?

"There's perfect men around every corner", said God an made the Earth round.

In a town where everyone's dying to couple up, sometimes there's nothing better than being out of a relationship. You have time to do your laundry, freedom to play your favorite bad music really loudly... but the best part of being out of a relationship: Plenty of time to catch up with your friends.

Tell a man: "I hate you" - you'II have the best sex of your Iife. But tell him: "I Iove you" - you'II probably never see him again.

No one likes boys! Even girls who like boys can't stand boys!

Momma's dating life is like that desert - nothing in sight as far as the eye can see.

Rich and single, I wonder what he looks like - you rarely get the trifecta.

Brokers give investment advice. Architects - design advice. Single people give married friends tidbits from their sexual escapades.

Being single is about celebrating and appreciating your own space that you're in.

Women are surprised when they find a guy who can make them come and straight dudes are surprised when they find a girl who can make them feel genuine feelings in their heart.

Dating Apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I'd contact tech support.

There's lots of good fish in the sea... maybe... but the vast masses seem to be mackerel or herring, and if you're not mackerel or herring yourself, you are likely to find very few good fish in the sea.

Jim: "Here's an easy one, okay: 'Attractive single white female, fun-loving, youthful mind seeks outgoing companion.' Attractive: ugly."
Oz: "Fun-loving: insane."
Kevin: "Unlisted age plus 'youthful mind' equals 'Old'."
Jim: "No, 'charming' is old. 'Older' is really old. 'Youthful mind' is dead."

Being single's an attitude. The minute you are desperate for a relationship, never gonna find one.

Carlton: "Within an hour, I'll have a gorgeous date and a great Halloween costume."
Will: "You better buy the mask first!"

Will: "Carlton, I misjudged you. You're a lot cooler than I thought. Hey, you wanna go to the club with us tonight?"
Carlton: "I don't have a date."
Will: "Carlton, never bring a sandwich to a buffet!"

Man, I love Halloween. It's the only time of year when a black man can wear a mask at night and not get arrested!

Man, you know I'm gonna rep West Philly wherever I go.

Will: "What's so funny?"
Hilary: "Carlton just told a joke."
Will: "No, Hilary, Carlton is a joke."

Carlton: "If it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and smells like a duck, what is it?"
Will: "Your prom date?"

Any time you see a white guy in jail, you know he did something bad.

A hard head makes for a soft behind.

Dad, don't do anything stupid! You haven't updated your will yet.

Vivian: "Excuse me. I'm looking for that store with the safari clothes. I can't remember the name, but I think there's some type of produce in it."
"Banana Republic."
Vivian: "That's it. Thank you."

Congratulate me. It took all day, but I finally found the perfect pair of alligator pumps to wear to the "Save the Everglades" dinner tonight.

Will: "Come on Uncle Phil, you're gonna ruin my rep."
Uncle Phil: "You're only 17, you don't have a rep yet."

Carlton: "I'm sick of being such a big loser."
Will: "Aw, C... you're not big."

Our motto is, the less f*cks you give, the more f*cks you get.

Kieran Bishop: "What's on the menu? What are we having?"
Corrina Roppo: "Me? I don't know."

There are those that do not believe that a single soul born in heaven can split into twin spirits and shoot like falling stars to earth where over oceans and continents their magnetic forces will finally unite them back into one. But, how else to explain love at first sight?

There's a Japanese phrase that I like: "koi no yokan". It doesn't mean love at first sight. It's closer to love at second sight. It's the feeling when you meet someone that you're going to fall in love with them. Maybe you don't love them right away, but it's inevitable that you will.

I don't mean to sound egotistical but im the best trend-setting, trail-blazing, meta-defining, thought-leading, landscape-shaping streamer there ever was and will be.

Decided to remove Donations/Bits from my channel. Give your money to charity or a smaller streamer instead, SINCE I'M RICH ALREADY WOOOHOO!

A real man takes responsibility for his actions. A real man knows when to let go of his pride and make the most out of his second chance.

We have a different set of rules here, okay? If you want to do well, just keep your head down and follow my lead.