Quotes and Sayings about Australia

Australia... home of every animal that seems like it should already be extinct.

John Oliver (Last Week Tonight)

In order to get cheap accommodation in Australia, we like foreign people to do manual labour for us. Helping feed the cows is very important, they are the future of McDonald's.

Ozzy Man Reviews - Royal Tour [FEAT. Prince Harry and Meghan]

McDonald's

Australia... not just the country where Russell Crowe lives, but very much the Russell Crowe of countries.

John Oliver (Last Week Tonight)

Russell Crowe

I don't think you understand how Australians work. Once we get a hold of a good quality meme, we drive it into the ground until we die. We're all still dropping the old "I pulled a Bradbury" and that happened over 20 years ago.

August 2024

Here was the chance to provide the leadership the country deserved: positive, modern, rational, appealing to people's hopes rather than their fears.

Malcolm Turnbull

If you want to develop character, go to Australia.

King Charles III

Wow. Australia! That sounds kind of... far.

Carlos Alvarez in A Perfect Pairing

The use of the word "just" by an Australian means that whatever it is you have to do, it will not be easy, as in "Just pull that sword out of the stone" or "Just split that atom."

Michael Palin - Full Circle with Michael Palin (1997)

If you're wondering where Australia's at culturally, 30 years ago, one of its TV stations decided to play the occasional foreign film.
To this day, the most common joke about that station is you can see t*ts on there.

Tom Cashman

Australia is not a secular country. It is a free country. This is a nation where you have the freedom to follow any belief system you choose.

Scott Morrison

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

Charles M. Schulz

Apocalypse

Every country is like a particular type of person. America is like a belligerent, adolescent boy; Canada is like an intelligent, 35-year-old woman. Australia is like Jack Nicholson. It comes right up to you and laughs very hard in your face in a highly threatening and engaging manner.

Douglas Adams

Jack Nicholson USA Canada

Shit, even our Prime Minister is calling our Cricket team cheats. F*ck's sake, Malcolm, f*ck's sake... oh, whatever - only thing he's good for is getting yelled at by Donald Trump.

Ozzy Man Reviews - Cricket Ball Tampering

Cricket Malcolm Turnbull

Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Australia - and that's practically the same thing.

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I am sorry on behalf of most, if not close to all, of Australia at this point. I'm sorry about Raygun and that we broke dancing.

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Rachael Gunn

The fellas point to someone in the man-cave... oi! It's 50 Cent, or as we say down-under... half a buck. Why is he upside down? That looks uncomfortable as f*ck! He's a dedicated bloke, I don't think I could comment videos upside down.

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I do hope his pleasure pump is not like his stinger. If it falls off and he dies after this, that would be tragic.

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It's important to remember, you only live once. I don't say this to encourage risky fun behavior. I say this to discourage risky fun behavior.

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The first time I tried that when I was a teenager, I broke me wrist. Yeah, nah, having a broken wrist when you're a horny teenager is f*cking devastating.

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Teenagers

If not today, then when? If not tomorrow, then when? Just quit your job if you want to and fly away! This motivational video is not guaranteed to work, results vary from individual to individual.

Ozzy Man Reviews - Inspiring Bugs

If Paris is a city of lights, Sydney is the city of fireworks.

Baz Luhrmann

Paris Sydney

Sydney is rather like an arrogant lover. When it rains it can deny you its love and you can find it hard to relate to. It's not a place that's built to be rainy or cold. But when the sun comes out, it bats its eyelids, it's glamorous, beautiful, attractive, smart, and it's very hard to get away from its magnetic pull.

Baz Luhrmann

Sydney

Sydney in general is eclectic. You can be on that brilliant blue ocean walk in the morning and then within 20 minutes you can be in a completely vast suburban sprawl or an Italian or Asian suburb, and it's that mix of people, it's that melting pot of people that give it its vital personality.

Baz Luhrmann

Sydney

They say money can't buy happiness. But it can book your flight to Sydney - which is kinda the same.

Sydney

You can leave Melbourne, but it will never leave you.

Melbourne

Melbourne is my type of city, much more so than Sydney.

Morris Gleitzman

Melbourne

They say money can't buy happiness. But it can book your flight to Melbourne - which is kinda the same.

Melbourne

The most effective check and balance on government has been an independent press which maintains its credibility by ensuring that its criticism is balanced and based on fact - based indeed on solid journalistic work.

Malcolm Turnbull

Freedom of Press Journalism

When politicians offer you something for nothing, or something that sounds too good to be true, it's always worth taking a careful second look.

Malcolm Turnbull

Politicians

I love radio - it is part of your life, whispering into your ear. You can't see it, but equally importantly it can't see you.

Malcolm Turnbull

Radio

Germany... a country whose idea of a bedtime story is two children being left to die in the forest, before nearly being cooked and eaten and then murdering an old woman.

John Oliver (Last Week Tonight)

Germany Fairytales

Russia... the prequel and sequel to the Sowjet Union.

John Oliver (Last Week Tonight)

Russia

If there is no blood on the line, it is not rugby league.

Russell Crowe

Rugby

There's nothing like sitting back and talking to your cows.

Russell Crowe

Cows

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.

Jack Nicholson

Lies Police

Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don't love.

Jack Nicholson

Relationships Argument

The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.

Stephen Colbert

McDonald's

I know her loss will be deeply felt throughout the country.

King Charles III - September 2022

Queen Elizabeth II 2022 Death of Queen Elizabeth II

Lola: "Can't you just discuss my love life behind my back, like normal people?"
Diane: "Uh, no. We can't do that. Not our style."

A Perfect Pairing

The human race should just slow down and think about what it is doing.

Michael Palin

Humanity

You think the attachments to cafe toilet keys are big? Interesting, interesting.
I think they're normal sized.

Tom Cashman

A safe and effective vaccine will be available to all Australians and will be a key step in our recovery in 2021.

Scott Morrison - New Year Eve’s address 2020/21

Coronavirus

Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

Charles M. Schulz

Life Laziness Bicycles

The fact that all of this was happening in virtual space made no difference. Being virtually killed by virtual laser in virtual space is just as effective as the real thing, because you are as dead as you think you are.

Douglas Adams

Virtual Reality

If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, it is the United States of America. They don’t care for human beings.

Nelson Mandela

USA

Canada also helped in two world wars and gave the world Neil Young, William Shatner, Leonard Cohen, Pamela Anderson, one quarter of Barney Stinson, instant mashed potatoes and best of all - you.

Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 12

William Shatner Leonard Cohen Pamela Anderson Neil Young Canada

Nothing happens in cricket, ever. Even the highlights resemble a freeze frame.

Charlie Brooker

Cricket

Quotes and Sayings about Australia

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