The best Quotes from Austin Powers

There are only two things I can't stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.

Nigel Powers in Austin Powers - Goldmember

Funny Quotes Netherlands

Mini-Me: "Are you a clone of an angel?"
Foxxy Cleopatra: "Oh, how sweet. No, my mini-man, I'm not."
Mini-Me: "Are you sure you don't have a little clone in you?"
Foxxy Cleopatra: "Yes I'm sure."
Mini-Me: "Would you like to?"

Mini-Me in Austin Powers - Goldmember

I don't kiss and tell. I shag and brag, baby!

Alright, let me find my balls, for God's sakes! One, two, and three, okay. I'm okay.

Dr. Evil in Austin Powers - Goldmember

You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil. Just one calorie, not evil enough.

Dr. Evil in Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me

Felicity Shagwell: "Austin Powers, I presume."
Austin: "Powers by name, powers by reputation."
Felicity Shagwell: "Felicity Shagwell, CIA. Shagwell by name, shag-very-well by reputation."
Austin: "Oh, be-have."
Felicity Shagwell: "Not if I can help it."

Felicity Shagwell in Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me

Austin: "Who are you, baby?"
Ivana: "Ivana. Ivana Humpalot."
Austin: "Excuse me?"
Ivana: "Ivana Humpalot."
Austin: "Well, I wanna (Ivana) toilet made out of solid gold, but it's just not in the cards now is it?"

Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me

Vanessa: "Do you smoke after sex?"
Austin: "I don't know, baby, I never looked."

Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my submarine lair. It's long, hard and full of seamen! No? Nothing?

Dr. Evil in Austin Powers - Goldmember

I'm not saying it's hot, but I'm pretty sure the thermometer reads "Satan's Balls".

Dr. Evil

You know what's remarkable? That England looks in no way like Southern California.

Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me

England & Great Britain California

Ivana: "Do you know how we keep warm in Russia?"
Austin: "I can guess, baby."
Ivana: "We play chess."
Austin: "I guessed wrong."

Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me

Russia Chess

As long as people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, I’ll be sound as a pound.

Austin Powers - International Man of Mystery

"Doctor" Evil! I didn't spend six years in evil medical school to be called "Mister". Thank you very much.

Dr. Evil in Austin Powers - International Man of Mystery

You're the best evil son an evil dad could ever ask for.

Dr. Evil in Austin Powers - Goldmember

Basil Exposition: "Austin, the Cold War is over."
Austin Powers: "Finally those capitalist pigs will pay for their crimes, eh? Eh comrades?"
Basil Exposition: "Austin... we won."

Basil Exposition

If you have an issue, here's a tissue.

Nigel Powers

Hang in there, Mini-Me! If anything should happen to you, I don't know what I would do. I'd probably move on and get another replica, but there would be a ten-minute period there where I would just be inconsolable.

Dr. Evil in Austin Powers - The Spy Who Shagged Me

You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads.

Dr. Evil in Austin Powers - International Man of Mystery

Are those frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads?

Dr. Evil in Austin Powers - Goldmember

That makes me angry. And when Dr. Evil gets angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people die!

Dr. Evil

What we swingers were going against were uptight squares like you whose bag was money and world domination. We were innocent, man. If we had known the consequences of our sexual liberation, we would've done things much differently but the spirit would remain the same. It's freedom baby.

Austin Powers - International Man of Mystery

Quotes about Austin Powers

Emma obviously looked very beautiful in her dress, and me and Rupert looked like Austin Powers' mates.

Daniel Radcliffe in Return to Hogwarts

Emma Watson Rupert Grint

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Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it.

Mike Myers

Fathers

Canada is a country of ingredients without a cuisine; we're a country with musicians without an indigenous instrument; Toronto's a city that doesn't even have a dish named after it.

Mike Myers

Canada Toronto

I like smart jokes, I like dumb jokes, and I like dumb jokes done smartly.

Mike Myers

Humor & Comedy

I'm a comedic actor, not to mix words, but it's something I think about. A comedic actor. I like to think that Christopher Guest, Phil Hartman, Peter Sellers and Alec Guinness are comedic actors. And Dan Aykroyd, too. Those are my heroes.

Mike Myers

Peter Sellers Alec Guinness Dan Aykroyd

I would love to be a father. I had a great father who taught me how gratifying that is. I'm not going to deny myself that. I think I'd be good at it. Everybody wants that experience. I definitely do.

Mike Myers

I eat whatever I want. I like bread and cheese and wine, and that makes my life fun and enjoyable.

Gwyneth Paltrow

Food

I try to avoid barbecue potato chips. They're my weakness.

Gwyneth Paltrow

My life is good because I am not passive about it. I invest in what is real. Like real people, to do real things, for the real me.

Gwyneth Paltrow

I'm hard on myself, so I'm working on shifting perspective toward self-acceptance, with all my flaws and weaknesses.

Gwyneth Paltrow

The adrenaline of a live performance is unlike anything in film or theater. I can see why it's so addictive.

Gwyneth Paltrow

The legacy of these movies is that my children's generation will show them to their children. So, you could be watching them in 50 years' time, easy. I'll not be here sadly, but Hagrid will.

Robbie Coltrane in Return to Hogwarts

Quotes about Harry Potter

I didn't think Voldemort was that human. He was the essence of evil.

Ralph Fiennes in Return to Hogwarts

Voldemort / Tom Riddle

I was always adamant that Hogwarts should feel like a world that shouldn't exist in reality.

Chris Columbus in Return to Hogwarts

Well, it's fantastic when you consider the alternative.

Daniel Radcliffe - on how he feels about getting older

Age

Transgender women are women. Any statement to the contrary erases the identity and dignity of transgender people

Daniel Radcliffe - June 2020

Homosexuality & LGBTQ+

It's not about the absence of fear. It's overcoming it.

Emma Watson

Fear

What gets scary is when your self-worth is tied up in what strangers think of you.

Emma Watson

Self-Confidence

When I read the books, I imagined that the family of Ron Weasley was my family.

Rupert Grint

Ron Weasley

I wouldn't be the person I am without so many people here. It's a very overwhelming thing because I've watched you grow up and I've seen kind of every stage of your life. It's a strong bond that we'll always have. We're family.

Rupert Grint in Return to Hogwarts

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

Dean Martin

Alcohol Funny Quotes

We need to stop the Islamisation of the Netherlands.

Geert Wilders - Februar 2008

Netherlands

Violet: "I'm so looking forward to seeing your mother again. When I'm with her, I'm reminded of the virtues of the English."
Matthew: "But isn't she American?"
Violet: "Exactly."

Violet Crawley in Downton Abbey

England & Great Britain

California has officially announced that jaywalking is now no longer a crime. So congratulations to the Californians who like walking places. This is great news for the six of you.

Trevor Noah in The Daily Show - October 2022

California

Every country has its own mafia. In Russia, the mafia has its own country.

Garry Kasparov

Russia

You know how the game of chess is played. Pieces must be sacrificed!

Orochimaru in Naruto

Chess

My sister has children who have been around 10, 11, 12 and I said, "Marth, I don't know about this Voldemort."
"What? You're being asked to play Voldemort? You've got to do it!"

Ralph Fiennes in Return to Hogwarts

Voldemort / Tom Riddle

JK Rowling? No one has done more to bring joy to so many generations.

Tom Felton - October 2022

Joanne K. Rowling

The best Quotes from Austin Powers

Quotes about Austin Powers

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