The best Ass Quotes

It's not a crime to be an a-shole, but it's very counter-productive.

If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.

How can you speak six languages and sound like a dick in every one of them?

Okay, maybe sometimes I'm a little bit a-shole, but the world needs a-sholes. Otherwise where would shit go out?

I'm gonna knock your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to shove a toothbrush up your ass to brush 'em.

Ted: "Victoria was great."
Robin: "Exactly, and you threw it all away to chase after some hot piece of ass."
Ted: "You mean you?"
Robin: "Thank you!"

Damn. Chick's got an ass like an onion - makes me wanna cry.

I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass!

Kim has a fat ass, so, like it would save her herself. It's like a floatation device.

Soap: "I'd take a pain in the arse for half a million quid."
Tom: "You'd take a pain in the arse for air miles."

Chloe, could you please get your head out of your ass? It's not a hat!

I enjoyed Halloween this year. I stuck two pumpkins down the back of my trousers and went as Kim Kardashian's arse.

I've got to find a way to introduce some wood into Bilson's dark atrium. I think you know what I meant.