How can you speak six languages and sound like a dick in every one of them?
If you're worried about people seeing your ass, do what all the other girls do and tie a sweater around your waist.
Okay, maybe sometimes I'm a little bit a-shole, but the world needs a-sholes. Otherwise where would shit go out?
Dusan Mirkovic in Downsizing
1If God didn't want us putting things up our ass, he would have given the rectum a gag reflex.
Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 4
1I'm gonna knock your teeth so far down your throat, you'll have to shove a toothbrush up your ass to brush 'em.
Luke Hobbs in Fast and Furious
1Ted: "Victoria was great."
Robin: "Exactly, and you threw it all away to chase after some hot piece of ass."
Ted: "You mean you?"
Robin: "Thank you!"
Robin: "Exactly, and you threw it all away to chase after some hot piece of ass."
Ted: "You mean you?"
Robin: "Thank you!"
Robin Scherbatsky in How I Met Your Mother - Season 7 Episode 24
1Like, up the ass? Do you get used to that? I mean, the whole point of the digestive system is one-way traffic.
Phillip Gallagher in Shameless - Season 1 Episode 1
Is a male asshole tighter than a female asshole?
Emma Meyer in Gen V - Season 1 Episode 5
Damn. Chick's got an ass like an onion - makes me wanna cry.
Hank Schrader in Breaking Bad - Season 1 Episode 6
I wouldn't let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass!
Buzz McCallister in Home Alone
Kim has a fat ass, so, like it would save her herself. It's like a floatation device.
I'm sick of the whole pooping thing... I'm gonna go get my butt cheeks pierced together.
Soap: "I'd take a pain in the arse for half a million quid."
Tom: "You'd take a pain in the arse for air miles."
Tom: "You'd take a pain in the arse for air miles."
Chloe, could you please get your head out of your ass? It's not a hat!
Aubrey in Pitch Perfect
If she says, "We can't have sex, I'm on my period", I would say, "Well, your ass isn't bleeding, is it?"
I enjoyed Halloween this year. I stuck two pumpkins down the back of my trousers and went as Kim Kardashian's arse.
Jimmy Carr - via Twitter
I've got to find a way to introduce some wood into Bilson's dark atrium. I think you know what I meant.
Ted Mosby in How I Met Your Mother - Season 4 Episode 18
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Mickey Milkovich in Shameless - Season 5 Episode 12
4It's only once you've stopped, that you realize how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it.
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19Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.
Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother - Season 9 Episode 17
16I'm gonna talk about racism now. And this is a straight white man talking, so pay attention!
Who's not gonna take the vaccine because they think it might be dangerous? Raise your hands! Now take that hand and slap yourself in the f*cking face!
I'll cry at the end of the day. Not with fresh makeup.
How do we prevent making mistakes where we actually only want to help?
Barry Allen in The Flash - Season 3 Episode 3
1J.D.: "What's wrong with me?"
Dr. Cox: "You're an annoying, whining man-child."
J.D.: "That question wasn't directed to you!"
Dr. Cox: "What question?"
Dr. Cox: "You're an annoying, whining man-child."
J.D.: "That question wasn't directed to you!"
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Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone, no matter how many people are around.
Not a very successful species, these Homo Sapiens, even with such great intelligence. Barely 200,000 years. Alligator has survived 200 million years, with a brain the size of a walnut.
Dr. Jorgen Asbjørnsen in Downsizing
1Frank: "What did they get you for again?"
"Beat my ex-wife to death with a telephone."
Frank': "Cordless or landline?"
"Beat my ex-wife to death with a telephone."
Frank': "Cordless or landline?"
Frank Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 12
The mind is a complex and many-layered thing, Potter... or at least, most minds are.
Well, maybe this isn't a breakup. Maybe this is two friends getting back together.
Robin Scherbatsky in How I Met Your Mother - Season 5 Episode 7
7Debs, we need at least one person in this family to not turn cynical, and my money's been on you.
Phillip Gallagher in Shameless - Season 3 Episode 10
I'm kind of like PewDiePie without the Nazi stuff.
Emma Meyer in Gen V - Season 1
Being a hero is not about glory. It's about sacrifice.
Rich Brink in Gen V - Season 1
Take it from me, buddy: It's darkest just before the dawn.
Hank Schrader in Breaking Bad - Season 5 Episode 5
2You clearly don't know who you're talking to, so let me clue you in. I am not in danger, Skyler. I am the danger. A guy opens his door and gets shot, and you think that of me?! No! I am the one who knocks!
Walter White in Breaking Bad - Season 4 Episode 6
6You can be too old for a lot of things, but you're never too old to be afraid.
Old Man Marley in Home Alone
You have your whole life to be old but a few years to be young.
It's always the people that know the least about you that want to judge you the most.
Concussions aren't great, but as long as you have them before you're 50, it's cool. And Knoxville's 49, so we're good.
Jackass - Forever
Farting
Shameless
How I Met Your Mother
Jimmy Carr
Hancock
Cisco Ramon
The Flash
Perry Cox