The best Quotes by Ashton Kutcher

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It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world.

The Butterfly Effect

Small Things Butterflies

You can't change what people are, without destroying who they were.

The Butterfly Effect

Character Change

Women reject me for 100 different reasons. White teeth would reduce that to 99 problems.

Alan Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 10 Episode 2

Teeth

Well, listen, just remember, that love will get u through times of no money better, than money will get you through times of no love.

Alan Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 9 Episode 20

Alan: "Why don't you get a vasectomy?"
Charlie: "I've considered it. In fact, a couple of years ago I believe there was a petition circulating."

Charlie Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 1 Episode 24

The damage has been done. All that's left to do now is drink until the part of the brain that creates mental pictures is dead.

Charlie Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 1 Episode 18

Alcohol

Alan: "I feel sorry that your heart has become so hard and small, that you've lost the capacity to connect with another human being on any level any more meaningful, than the inebriated exchange of bodily fluids."
Charlie: "Boy, leave it to you to take a beautiful thing like drunken sex and make it sound dirty."

Charlie Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 1 Episode 16

Alan: "What are you afraid off?"
Charlie: "I'm afraid I'm gonna hit you so hard, I'll be an only-child."

Charlie Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 1 Episode 15

Alan: "When a boy becomes a man - and that's what you're becoming - he has to start protecting the women in his life from certain things."
Charlie: "Like the truth."

Charlie Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 1 Episode 12

Alan: "You can't stay here alone."
Jake: "Why not?"
Alan: "You know why not."
Jake: "But you don't have a turtle to put in the microwave anymore."

Jake Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 1 Episode 11

Turtles

Alan: "We judge a person by what's inside and not by what they wear."
Jake: "Lucky for you, huh?"

Jake Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 1 Episode 11

Alan: "Charlie, there's a half naked woman in our kitchen!"
Charlie: "Which half?"

Charlie Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 1 Episode 6

Kitchen Being naked

It doesn't matter if you win or loose, it's whether or not you beat the spread.

Charlie Harper in Two and a half Men - Season 1 Episode 5

Gambling

You have never seen such lofty clouds, such towering anvils, as in Iowa in July.

Bill Bryson

July Iowa

They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a flight to Iowa - and that's pretty much the same thing.

Iowa

Life begins outside the comfort zone!

Comfort Zone

But there are mistakes that are necessary. Sometimes you have to die a little bit to get back to live a little longer.

Benedict Wells

Failures & Mistakes Breakup Beginning

Without a moustache, a man isn't dressed well.

Salvador Dalí

Beards

For the soul, laughing is what oxygen is for the lungs.

Louis de Funès

Laughing & Smile

It's not about the absence of fear. It's overcoming it.

Emma Watson

Fear

If there hadn't been women we'd still be squatting in a cave eating raw meat, because we made civilization in order to impress our girlfriends.

Orson Welles

Men & Women

My philosophy is: It's none of my business what people say of me and think of me.

Anthony Hopkins

Self-Confidence Gossip & Rumors

My father always said, "Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their book shelf" - so I make sure I read.

Emilia Clarke

Books Reading

We think too much and feel too little.

Charlie Chaplin

Thinking Feelings & Emotions

If one does not attach himself to people and desires, never shall his heart be broken. But then, does he ever truly live?

Jackie Chan

Life Desire

One should judge a man mainly from his depravities. Virtues can be faked. Depravities are real.

Klaus Kinski

Failures & Mistakes

I'm much more proud of being a father than being an actor.

Bruce Willis

I dream of a day where I walk down the street and hear people talk about Morality, Sustainibility and Philoshophy instead of the Kardashians.

Keanu Reeves

The Kardashians

It's easy to fool the eye but it's hard to fool the heart.

Al Pacino

Heart Eyes

I never thought I'd see in my life a black candidate running for President.

Samuel L. Jackson

Barack Obama 2008

Some a-hole leaks it online and I'm like, you know, looking at the guy in the mirror brushing my teeth, "Dude, what have you done? This could be punishable by law!" But the internet forced the studio to say, "We're gonna make this movie", and 24 hours later, that movie had a green light.

Ryan Reynolds - September 2025

Deadpool

The best Quotes by Ashton Kutcher

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