Receptionist: "How do you write women so well?"
Melvin: "I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."
When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome. And then, of course, you spoke.
As Good As It Gets, by Carol ConnellyPeople who talk in metaphors oughta shampoo my crotch!
As Good As It Gets, by Melvin UdallCarol: "Do you want to dance?"
Melvin: "I've been thinking about that for a while."
Carol: "Well?"
Melvin: "No."
Come on in, and try not to ruin everything by being you.
As Good As It Gets, by Carol ConnellyIf there's a mental health organization that raises money for people like you, be sure to let me know.
As Good As It Gets, by Frank SachsNever, never, interrupt me, okay? Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home and one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're going to faint. Even then, don't come knocking. Or, if it's election night, and you're excited and you wanna celebrate because some fudgepacker that you date has been elected the first queer president of the United States and he's going to have you down to Camp David, and you want someone to share the moment with. Even then, don't knock. Not on this door. Not for any reason. Do you get me, sweetheart?
As Good As It Gets, by Melvin Udall