The best Quotes by Ann Perkins

Jogging is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?

Parks and Recreation - Season 4 Episode 7

Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's just the best. And I don't have to work! Hey sl*tty teenage girls dressed as sexy kittens, pump your own stomachs this year!

Parks and Recreation

Halloween

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What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me.

Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation

I would like a glass of red wine and I'll take the cheapest one you have because I can't tell the difference.

Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation

Wine

I'm big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation

No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me. I'm like a white, male U.S. Senator.

Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation

Calzones are pointless. They're just pizza that's harder to eat. No one likes them.

Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation

The raccoon problem is under control. They have their part of the town and we have ours.

Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation

I don't want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.

Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation

I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things.

Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation

Salad

Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love.

Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation

We have to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. But work has to come third.

Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation

I'm gonna get drunk and then I'm gonna order a three-course meal where each course is made of dessert.

Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation

Everything hurts and I'm dying.

Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation - Season 4 Episode 17

One time my refrigerator stopped working. I didn't know what to do. I just moved.

Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation - Season 5 Episode 19

If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?

Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation

I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation - Season 3 Episode 2

I'm going to tell you a secret about everyone else's job: no one knows what they are doing. Deep down, everyone is just faking it until they figure it out.

April Ludgate in Parks and Recreation

Ugh. I hate talking to people about things.

April Ludgate in Parks and Recreation

I'm allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 sushis, I barf.

Parks and Recreation

Sushi

There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.

Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation

Milk

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing.

Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation

Ice Cream

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation

Vodka Tequila

There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food.

Ron Swanson in Parks and Recreation

You really need to consider the message you're sending this boys by ending the lockout. It's the same message that we as a culture send to our professional athletes; and that is that they are above the law. If these boys cannot honor the simple rules of a basketball contract, how long do you think it will be before they're out there breaking the law? I played ball here at Richmond High 30 years ago. It was the same thing then; some of my teammates went to prison, some of them even ended up dead. If you vote to end the lockout, you won't have to terminate me; I'll quit.

Ken Carter in Coach Carter

Basketball Sports

Talent sets the floor, character sets the ceiling.

Bill Belichick

Talent Sports

I went jogging to get rid of the extra pounds I gained during lockdown. Didn't work at all.
Wait, am I supposed to do this more than once?

Corona-Jokes Jogging

Madeline: "Aw. Where are you?"
Emily: "Jogging on the Seine."
Madeline: "You are living my life. Except for... the jogging part."

Madeline Wheeler in Emily in Paris - Season 1 Episode 3

Jogging

Halloween. The one day of the year it's socially acceptable to play dress-up. The only question is, who do you want to be? There are costumes to make men feel like boys again. Or turn little girls into queens.

Gossip Girl in Gossip Girl - Season 3

Halloween

Like all good things the witching hour must come to an end. True natures are revealed. Tricks are turned into treats. And taking off costumes is as much fun as putting them on. Except for little girls who forget that Halloween is only one night. They wear their costumes for so long pretty soon they can’t even remember who they were before they put them on. XOXO - Gossip Girl.

Gossip Girl in Gossip Girl - Season 3

Appearance Halloween

I wasn't listening but I strongly disagree with Ann.

April Ludgate in Parks and Recreation - Season 4 Episode 21

Time is money; Money is power; Power is pizza; Pizza is knowledge. Let's go!

April Ludgate in Parks and Recreation - Season 6 Episode 10

I had to call in a few favors. But if you don't call in favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?

Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation

I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

Tom Haverford in Parks and Recreation

If you start deporting every shady looking guy with questionable tattoos, who's gonna go to Jets games?

Jordan Klepper in The Daily Show

New York Jets

The best Quotes by Ann Perkins

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