The best Quotes by Ann Perkins

Jogging is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?

Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's just the best. And I don't have to work! Hey sl*tty teenage girls dressed as sexy kittens, pump your own stomachs this year!

What I hear when I'm being yelled at is people caring really loudly at me.

I would like a glass of red wine and I'll take the cheapest one you have because I can't tell the difference.

I'm big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me. I'm like a white, male U.S. Senator.

Calzones are pointless. They're just pizza that's harder to eat. No one likes them.

The raccoon problem is under control. They have their part of the town and we have ours.

I don't want to be overdramatic, but today felt like a hundred years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.

I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things.

Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love.

We have to remember what's important in life: friends, waffles, and work. Or waffles, friends, work. But work has to come third.

I'm gonna get drunk and then I'm gonna order a three-course meal where each course is made of dessert.

Everything hurts and I'm dying.

One time my refrigerator stopped working. I didn't know what to do. I just moved.

If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?

I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.

I'm going to tell you a secret about everyone else's job: no one knows what they are doing. Deep down, everyone is just faking it until they figure it out.

Ugh. I hate talking to people about things.

I'm allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 sushis, I barf.

There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream, or be nothing.

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

There has never been a sadness that can't be cured by breakfast food.

You really need to consider the message you're sending this boys by ending the lockout. It's the same message that we as a culture send to our professional athletes; and that is that they are above the law. If these boys cannot honor the simple rules of a basketball contract, how long do you think it will be before they're out there breaking the law? I played ball here at Richmond High 30 years ago. It was the same thing then; some of my teammates went to prison, some of them even ended up dead. If you vote to end the lockout, you won't have to terminate me; I'll quit.

Talent sets the floor, character sets the ceiling.

I went jogging to get rid of the extra pounds I gained during lockdown. Didn't work at all.
Wait, am I supposed to do this more than once?

Madeline: "Aw. Where are you?"
Emily: "Jogging on the Seine."
Madeline: "You are living my life. Except for... the jogging part."

Halloween. The one day of the year it's socially acceptable to play dress-up. The only question is, who do you want to be? There are costumes to make men feel like boys again. Or turn little girls into queens.

Like all good things the witching hour must come to an end. True natures are revealed. Tricks are turned into treats. And taking off costumes is as much fun as putting them on. Except for little girls who forget that Halloween is only one night. They wear their costumes for so long pretty soon they can’t even remember who they were before they put them on. XOXO - Gossip Girl.

I wasn't listening but I strongly disagree with Ann.

Time is money; Money is power; Power is pizza; Pizza is knowledge. Let's go!

I had to call in a few favors. But if you don't call in favors to look at women in bikinis and assign them numerical grades, what the hell do you call in favors for?

I have never taken the high road. But I tell other people to ‘cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

Lip: "Hey, whoa. You really think they deserve your hard-earned money for that service?"
Frank: "Dine and dash?"
Lip: "Bite and bolt."
Frank: "Eat it and beat it?"