The best Quotes from American Dad!

The best Series Quotes
Quote by Stan Smith from American Dad! in Season 1 Episode 14

Guns don't kill people, people kill people! Guns defend people against people with smaller guns.

Gun-Control
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Quote by Klaus Heisler from American Dad!

There's an old German saying: 'Don't blame the fish!' There are other sayings, but they mostly involve genocide...

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Quote by Stan Smith from American Dad! in Season 10 Episode 11

Gummi Bears?! He replaced my bullets with Gummi Bears from the mini bar... that's gonna cost me $7!

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Quote by Roger the Alien from American Dad! in Season 5 Episode 9

Oh, I love your religion ... for the crazy! Virgin birth. Water into wine. It's like Harry Potter, but it causes genocide and bad folk music.

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Quote by Francine Smith from American Dad! in Season 10 Episode 14

A real New York hotel! How many Wall Street bankers have had their first prostitute here?

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Quote by Francine Smith from American Dad! in Season 11 Episode 3

Stan, we can't have a grown woman acting like a child in our house. This ain't no Disney Channel.

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Quote by Stan Smith from American Dad! in Season 11 Episode 15

Roger: 'I once survived four days in a Del Taco parking lot extracting life-saving nutrients from puddles and bird shit.'
Steve: 'Why didn't you just go into the Del Taco?'
Roger: 'I'm a Taco Bell man.'

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Quote by Stan Smith from American Dad!

Doctors are stupid, Roger. They're just failed dentists.

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Quote by Stan Smith from American Dad! in Season 11 Episode 20

When I joined the CIA, I knew the deal. If we make a mistake, we cover it up. Like the time Dick accidentally created feline AIDS and we covered it up by blaming it on gay cats.

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Quote by Steve Smith from American Dad!

I’m gonna go hit the sack, and then probably go to bed.

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Quote by Stan Smith from American Dad!

Hello, Bill Gates? Turns out I’m the richest guy in the world, because I have an adoring wife and a loving family.
Hello, UNICEF? Yes, I’d like to donate some of my immense riches. What’s that? Children are still starving in Africa because wife love is worthless to you? What an odd policy!

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Quote by Stan Smith from American Dad!

I guess I just picked a whole bouquet of oopsie-daisies.

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Quote by Stan Smith from American Dad!

Ah, saturday afternoon TV. Where the sneaky networks hide all the good shows.

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Quote by Stan Smith from American Dad! in Season 1 Episode 18

Boil water? What, am I a chemist?

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Quote by Roger the Alien from American Dad! in Season 12 Episode 22

In a hundred years, when there’s a million jerks riding around Manhattan drunk in limos, the west will seem like a paradise.

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Quote by Stan Smith from American Dad!

The new Pixar movie, Clothes. It’s about the secret lives of clothes. John Ratzenberger plays a tie.

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Characters from American Dad!