The best Quotes by Alex Vause

You might like these Quotes aswell

I am so like Donna it's funny. And most of my friends are guys too.

For me, personally, I watch pretty much everything on Netflix, and I watch all the episodes in a row, when I can.

Sure you want to meet that soul mate and fall in love and have the big thing, but until that happens, you gotta kiss a lot of frogs.

Laura Prepon

Funny Quotes Frogs

I never think of myself as any kind of sex symbol, but I get letters from all over, all sorts. It's really cool. I get a lot from inmates, which is kind of scary. But the best was the guy who wanted to send me a plane ticket to fly me to his prom.

Laura Prepon

I like to think I'll just be walking down the street one day and stop and meet someone, like, 'Oh my God, you're awesome,' and then we start dating.

Laura Prepon

You're a beautiful, sweet girl. F*ck this guy!

Nicky Nichols in Orange Is the New Black

What do I think love is? It's like when someone makes your stomach feel all tight, but floaty at the same time, you know? And your cheeks hurt from smiling. And you smile so much, that people think something's wrong with you.
...And also f*cking. Twenty-four seven, deep-dick, can't-walk-right f*cking.

Aleida Diaz in Orange Is the New Black

"What's love to you?"
Flaca: "It's like getting into a bath, but the water is like warm chocolate pudding. And the Smiths are playing ‘There Is A Light That Never Goes Out.' There's mood lighting all over, and there's like five dudes massaging you."
Maritza: "And you have a pizza!"
Flaca: "She's right. You also have a pizza."

Marisol 'Flaca' Gonzales & Maritza Ramos in Orange Is the New Black

Pizza

All I wanted was to eat the chicken that is smarter than other chickens and to absorb it's power.

Galina 'Red' Reznikov in Orange Is the New Black

You gotta move...The f*ck...On!

Gloria Mendoza in Orange Is the New Black

If I hadn't buried my feelings so deep I would totally be tearing up right now.

Maritza Ramos in Orange Is the New Black

Pain is always there cause life is freaking painful, okay?

Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett in Orange Is the New Black

I would very much like to return your witty banter, but I am too exhausted to be clever.

Galina 'Red' Reznikov in Orange Is the New Black

I hate it when you talk sometimes. No... all the time.

Nicky Nichols in Orange Is the New Black

You need to figure out what the f*ck you want.

Nicky Nichols in Orange Is the New Black

If you want my advice? Get out of your own goddamn drama for a minute.

Nicky Nichols in Orange Is the New Black

Larry Bloom: "Piper, you put a pee stick in my rinsing cup."
Piper Chapman: "Well, you put your pee stick in my v*gina. And that's why we're in this situation."

Piper Chapman in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 8

Vaginas

Sam Healy: "It's popular fiction. It's like global warming or female ejac*lation."
Piper: "No! No. No, it's not. This is real."
Sam Healy: "How is it real? Wait, which?"
Piper: "The chicken. And the... the chicken."

Piper Chapman in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 5

Larry Bloom: "Are we at least gonna talk about other options?"
Piper Chapman: "You mean..."
Larry Bloom: "It's not Voldemort, you can say it. Abortion."

Larry Bloom in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 8

Or I look single, 34 and single, which must mean there's something wrong with me. Like, you keep large reptiles in tanks, or I have a very special relationship with my mother.

Larry Bloom in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 7

Red: "Black girls hear about a chicken, of course this will happen."
Piper: "Why, because all black people love chicken?"
Red: "Don't be racist. Because they're all on heroin, and somebody's been telling them there's heroin in the chicken."

Galina 'Red' Reznikov in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 5

I'm missing half my zucchini. These girls don't realize I'm here to provide food, not d*ldos.

Galina 'Red' Reznikov in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 3

What the hell is the matter with you? You tryin' out for the retard Olympics?

George 'Pornstache' Mendez in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 5

P*rnstache: "You are not an agent of God, okay? God can do so much better than you. You must know that, right?"
Pennsatucky: "Know what?"
P*rnstache: "Jesus Christ, how the f*ck did you survive infancy?"
Pennsatucky: "My auntie helped my momma..."
P*rnstache: "That's a rhetorical question! Do you not understand what a f*cking rhetorical question is?"

George 'Pornstache' Mendez in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 5

Pennsatucky: "It weren't my fault. I was just doing as the Spirit commanded."
Pussey: "F*ck are you? Joan of Arc?"
Pennsatucky: "No, I'm from Waynesboro, my name is Tiffany..."

Tiffany 'Pennsatucky' Doggett in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 5

Joe Caputo: "You ever notice how some dog breeds, they sound kind of dirty? Like, shih tzu, cocker, Jack-something."
Susan Fischer: "Poodle."
Joe Caputo: "That is good, I didn't think of that one."

Joe Caputo in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 7

The only difference between us is, when I made bad decisions in life, I didn't get caught.

Susan Fischer in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 7

I am not crazy. I am unique.

Suzanne Warren in Orange Is the New Black

Stop crying. Remember? Crying makes you ugly and weak.

Dayanara Diaz in Orange Is the New Black

It's like...It's like I'm a f*cked-up-shit magnet.

Maria Ruiz in Orange Is the New Black

I'm not surviving, I'm just existing.

Brook Soso in Orange Is the New Black - Season 3

Larry: "She's guilty she's leaving. It's a guilt pig roasting box."
Pete: "At least you get something. I'm not getting laid for a year too. But what do I get?"
Larry: "A baby?"
Pete: "You can't eat it."

Pete Harper in Orange Is the New Black - Season 1 Episode 1

The best Quotes by Alex Vause

You might like these Quotes aswell

Related pages to Alex Vause