Quotes by Alex Sarkov

Patient: "This isn't over, Dr. F-ckov!"
Sarkov: "Dr. F-ckov. Never heard that one before. Very original! Why don't you try Dr. Suckov?"

Juan: "I'm not a child."
Sarkov: "No, you are a grown man who makes comic books for a living."
Juan: "Graphic novels."
Sarkov: "Okay."

Sarkov: "That's doctor-patient privilege."
Juan: "I thought you were a scientist."
Sarkov: "It's all the same. We all wear white coats and have trouble with eye contact."

My assistant's having a baby. Which is gross. She wanted me to deliver it, as I was like, "I'm not that kind of doctor." I wouldn't even know what I was looking at.

I taught Oxford for years. Then I turned 20 and moved to the States.